Why is this article aimed solely at women? Lots of male freelancers make these same mistakes.

I think it’s extremely distasteful to direct this type of thing at women. In my experience, men are equally if not more likely to make these mistakes. What exactly can be gained by polarizing the issue? This type of foolishness only serves to strengthen the (already damaging enough) myths about women entrepreneurs. We can’t sell ourselves. We can’t be assertive. We can’t make enough money. We can’t prioritize. We can’t handle work because our home lives take precedence. We waste our money. We’re weak. We’re frightened.

Is it not 2008? Was this pulled from a time capsule or something? And don’t tell me I shouldn’t be offended. I am, after all, a woman, so presumably this is about/directed at me.

If nothing else, I’d think a bit of professionalism was in order - and this type of thing has no place in professional discourse. It’s one thing to talk politics, another entirely to perpetuate stereotypes.

I’m seeing this trend a lot: writer writes an article aimed at a certain demographic, everyone else clambers to comment about how bad writing for a demographic is.

Crap. Bullocks. Rubbish.

Just like marketers don’t try to sell pork rinds to Muslims or maternity clothes to men, it’s perfectly acceptable to target your article at an audience you care about and who could benefit from what you have to say.

That’s regardless of whether or not other demographics can benefit from the same article - after all, nobody is stopping you from reading it. On the flipside, many women who could benefit from this advice - and there are plenty who, unfortunately, get walked all over, in this ridiculous world - might have skipped over it were it not specifically aimed at them.

It all depends on the location, the person and the situation. The door swings both ways regarding the ‘female card’. Women can manipulate and reverse the ’sex’ issue quite easy when pitching, or dealing with clients. I’ve seen a lot of these ‘poor female freelancers’ that you speak of, win more deals than the males due to the fact of being female and using their womanly ways to twist a guys arm and come out on-top. No pun intended ^_^

I’ve even seen a lot of really poor work from females who win clients simply due to their charm. The majority of their portfolio stinks too when compared to a more talented and qualified male counterpart who lost out because he doesn’t have breasts as big as his female rivals. Where’s the justice there? Would the ‘female’ card be played in those situations? OOOOh no, how silly of me! The female card is only played when it suits the females when they lose out to a guy with a bigger chest.

Hoho

Joel - There is a huge, gaping difference between “writing for a demographic”, and “writing an article aimed at a group that is based on a bunch of offensive and unsubstantiated assumptions”. I agree with Chad - this is an insensitive article - and not just to women. Why alienate others who might find these tips useful? I can’t think of any freelancer - regardless of gender - who could not benefit from this advice.

I think the only point that is applicable to females only, in general (I know, I know, one should not generalize) is “Being Intimidated”.

Like it or not, many women still feel intimidated by interaction with males. Sure, some men feel intimidaed in the same situation, but I think it is more prevalent among women.

@Katharine: Be careful what age groupd you are calling “old”.

I, for one, was not offended by this post at all, but I don’t really relate to any of the points she makes. Then again, I’ve been told I have brass ones and they clank when I walk.

The author clearly states in the beginning that she is “not a big fan of generalizations” and that these items can apply to both sexes. She’s speaking from personal experience - just like any of us would.

I do agree that some women may still have a tendency to behave this way: not fighting for what they’re worth, being easily intimidated, not separating work from life. I have many friends that do this - more female than male. This doesn’t mean all women struggle with these issues - just that some of them have more difficulty than others.

We didn’t all start out as Amazonian queens swinging our swords around. For centuries we were denied equality and have only recently begun to reach a level playing field. Some would argue that we still aren’t there yet (and don’t say it’s because of articles like this - that’s just weak).

Personally, I encountered these challenges throughout my college years and the beginning of my IT career. It always seemed like I had to try a little harder to prove myself. There were only a handful of ladies in my classes, and it appeared that they were after their MRS rather than their BS. Because I fought through it, that struggle made me who I am today.

The point is - not every woman is born with a “Hear Me Roar” tattoo. I was (and so was Mave, I’d assume), but sometimes it helps to have another person point out the elephant in the room.

At 38 years old, I’d hardly call myself a “youngster”. I am well aware of sexism and the socialization of women - I myself have suffered from it. I’ve had to fight to get where I am in life, and I have lost far more opportunities because of my gender than I’ve ever gained. I also agree that Hilary’s experience on the campaign trail only served to shine a bright light on the battles still ahead. HOWEVER - I don’t think aiming this article at women is in any way justified. It’s sexism, plain and simple. And the fact that people - especially women - are supporting it and agreeing with it only shows that sexism is still alive and well and thriving in our society.

It’s not sexist because it was aimed at women - it’s sexist because the issues that are being sold as “women’s problems” are actually universal issues that freelancers of all genders face, and no attempt was given by the author to substantiate or explain why/how these issues should be regarded as ones women are more likely to face - and that’s journalistic laziness at best.

If, in fact, the article had discussed issues that were demonstrably more prevalent and specific to women - and had actually backed up those issues with facts from reliable sources, I would applaud it. It’s shaky, unjustified claims like this that give people like Cal more fuel for their misogyny (and btw, I think his comments are offensive enough that they warrant deletion).

“People like Cal” have been standing up for females throughout history and saying such is labeling someone who shouldn’t be labeled - just like this thread shouldn’t be labeled. If you opened your eyes and read between the lines, I’m actually defending the female freelancer in general, but mocking those who thrive upon playing the ’sexism card’, or feel inferior enough to think the world is against them because of their sex, race, color, religion, or whatever. Life can be cruel, we all have to face the negatives along with the positives.

Women are equal in the modern world no matter how hard the women try to make themselves outdone by - they’re far from it! Any ‘group’ could complain about being looked down upon, if they sat and thought about it. I’ve seen a hell of a lot of male freelancers beaten to jobs by females because of the ’sex-his-him’ situation being reversed, as some prefer working with females just because of them being female. It’s part of life, no matter what ‘group’ you fit into, everyone faces the same setbacks at some point in their lives. I know many female freelancers who would laugh at this thread. They hate labels, as so do I. A freelancer is a freelancer. Bottom line. Fact, Period. The end.

Cal, denying that inequalities exist is no way to eliminate them - any more than denying climate change will make it go away. Racism, sexism, homophobia, etc are very real issues that need to be acknowledged and addressed in order for real, lasting change to occur. You pretend that discrimination is not real, perhaps you are privileged enough not to have to face it… that doesn’t make you a “champion for equality,” it makes you myopic. And just an FYI… “reverse sexism” or “reverse racism” are false notions. Discrimination is about power imbalance… it occurs where someone with more social, cultural and economic power wields that power against a marginalized group. It’s impossible for someone at the top of the food chain to be disenfranchised by someone at the bottom. I would suggest that, if you are serious about being an advocate for equality, you get some sensitivity training. I won’t hold my breath, though, since you seem to be quite smugly convinced of yourself.

I am on the fence re: this article, HOWEVER I LOL at Laura’s comments above. My husband works part in and part out of the home, and he could still benefit from points 2,4 and 5.

I found this article to be helpful and a good reminder even though it was not specifically titled for me. Though, I would like to see another version too in the near future; “The Five Most Common Mistakes of Male Freelancers.” I will let you know ahead of time, if it happens to be written, that I will not be offended in anyway.

Laura, no, not offended at all. Laughed because it’s true. Except no. 5, I do shower ya know!

What’s wrong with you people? If you haven’t notice men & women’s minds think differently.
This article points out that men also do these things too, but women seem to do more of it. Just like in general men are taller than women( it doesn’t mean that all men are taller) OR more boys to like to stupid things than girls.

We are in 2008, shouldnt be able to admit that there are difference between men & women? I agree that the both sexes do the same amount of work, that both should be compensated in the same amount. (that could mean a mixture of $, flex time, more vacation/of time or whatever)

The point is men & women in general act/think differently. Such as Men brag more about work or things they have done (lead to point 1), Women prefer to work things out rather than going into conflict (lead to point 3)…I not say all males & females are like that, as the article points out these are some of the pitfalls that easier for females than men to fall into, so watch out for it.

@ Sara - The old, “You think you’re sooooo smart” line has the great comeback of, “That’s cos I am”. It shuts up the other person real quick, and, hey, you earned that smiley face! Good point about how we are socialized to be modest though.

The responses to the article have been as enlightening as the article. I did not find it offensive, but I did find its tone became more hesitant as the article progressed. Had it maintained the same confident stride it held in the first few paragraphs, including some specifics, it might not have received as much backlash.

The poster may be writing from personal experience, one can only assume. It’s also been the experience of many women I know. Is their insecurity gender-based? Obviously not; many men feel insecure. But men are socialized to be warriors; women are discouraged from it. When they try to step out of that, they’re often batted down (Conversely, when men step out of warrior mode, they are ridiculed. It’s an ugly world). Sometimes it makes them stronger, sometimes it doesn’t.

I started freelancing 3 years ago, at 37, and have remained dependent upon the one client I have because I lack confidence as an entrepreneur, possessing each of the five traits noted in the post. Yes, many men experience these same issues, but I appreciated that my experience was being validated.

This insecurity most certainly is socialized; I’ve allowed myself to internalize the ‘you’re out of your league’ mentality that kept my mother from following her dreams. The fact is, this is prevalent among a great many women I know. A solution, perhaps, is to know more women who didn’t accept ‘the fear.’ I applaud and admire women who don’t accept that as their lot, but still, despite doing my undergrad with a focus on feminist studies, I am weighted by it.

Those who were angered by this post have every right to be. Not because the post was written, but because it had to be written at all. To berate women for feeling this way seems akin to blaming the victim. To act as though this problem doesn’t exist in larger quantities amongst women does little to help or support women entrepreneurs, it only negates their feelings.

Those women with ‘the gumption’ are an impressive and admirable lot, but I left Wired Women because I felt in my heart of hearts I wasn’t one of them. I admire them and would love to beat up my shyness with a baseball bat. An article like this one is more effective and helpful than attacks on my innermost insecurities, and accusations that I am a stereotype.

- I agree with Nantucket on this one, this is a lot better conversation then just 5 normal mistake that people make

Good Lord, Mave. Get a little perspective. The only thing funnier than a testosterone flood is an estrogen flood.

nose holder - And cowardly posts by people who can’t even name themselves are the most entertaining of all. You obviously know your point - whatever it is - has no merit, if you aren’t even willing to stand behind what you say.

I realize this is a guest post, so I’m not going to make any assumptions, but do you realize that the same article, almost word for word, has been posted here by someone who goes by the names of James and Boogie? http://www.underattacker.com/five-female-freelancer-mistakes/

It’s no secret that sexism is alive and well. It’s my opinion that if anyone is going to make any sort of claim then they should have the evidence to back it up. Why not do a well-thought out research article on why there are so few female designers instead of dressing up yet another generic self-help article that this site seems to dole out on a regular basis as something that women in particular will find particularly insightful? The article is not quite as vivid as the comments posted here in highlighting the rampant bigotry that many people have and hold their tongues about in public places but think appropriate to post anonymously on the web.

That being said, there are lots problems with the statements that some of you have made because they contain so many logical fallacies and wild assumptions based on nothing that if each was a brick you could either fill the Pacific or build a couple mansions. Do you think that based on your personal encounters with a few select individuals the entire group is going to be the same way? If a Swiss man punched you in the face would you believe that all people from that country were violent? If you saw a woman get a contract over you would you assume that all women have some sort of inherent advantage in your field because of their sex?

People that try to silence discussions about topics such as this with blanket complaints that are designed to turn other people away from inserting themselves into the discussion are also laughable. Sorry Stephen, but your recent comment is just absurd. Do you know how marketing works? Do you know any sort of society works? Do you know what gender is? Can you differentiate this from sex? Do you know what age is? Do you know why that is important in this day and age? How about a woman from Ukraine, or better yet Saudi Arabia? You could hold as few prejudiced opinions as humanly possible, but you would still have to operate within a society which has other people that you have to communicate and cooperate with who are going to label you the instant they meet you based on phenotypical and behavioral characteristics they subconsciously or consciously think are relevant in their quest to label you and place you in a category that they deem fit for the situation.

Sorry bud, I like to take thinks lightly but the reality of the modern world is that we aren’t all born the same color, we don’t all believe the same things, we don’t live in the same neighborhoods growing up, we don’t all have access to the same things, and the people around us aren’t all going to be as understanding or as enlightened as you. And that is why healthy discussion on what inequities do exist and why is so important.

Oh blessed controversy, here I come.

I like what you have to say and agree, Marie.

I just read this on Brett’s 6 Weeks and think it is beautifully stated with regards to your #1:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
-Marianne Williamson
http://6weeks.ca/?p=215

#1 Self Promotion is of paramount importance for freelancers and it is essential. It was one huge hurdle for me to jump.

#2 Agree. A great life partner is a big help with that one. Someone who can help organize and who respects your work and goals.

#3 Been there too.

#4 I just bought broadband wifi usb, am totally portable now and immediately changed my productivity and capabilities. Takes money to make money. In the near long run, I will save tons of money and make much more.

#5 Humbly confident is key! Not arrogant. Not meek. Just know your value and do not accept less.

@ Sara… Laughing. Me too. I used to be naturally very confident, and then comment after comment from people (mostly men) knocked me down; I felt like to get ahead, I had to act like I thought I was no good. Suffice to say, that did NOT work! And eventually, I became no good from saying it so much. Ultimately, people like confidence and we have to ignore the jerks who put us down out of their own insecurities.

@ Chad… Awah, a sensitive guy — I like!

@ Cal… Get your head out of the gutter. Ha ha. Just kidding. My sex appeal has definitely opened lots of doors, it has also kept me out, because men don’t take me seriously or don’t want to be distracted with their dirty little thoughts. In my experience, in the end, it is the quality of work that matters. Also, sex appeal is not gender specific either. I have seen many sexy men, hired by women or gay men, who were not qualified for the job — especially in Hollywood. Yes, please write the “Most Common Mistakes of Long-haired Freelancers.” Laughing. “Women are equal in the modern world” Absolutely False! Women may be equal in freelancing where they are hiding behind a computer and can take on any persona they want, but in the world, gender equality is a long ways away. How many female world leaders are there? How many female government officials? How many female CEO and CFO? How many female directors? How many female heads of newspapers or television networks or studios are there? Not many, my friend. Otherwise, yes, all individuals face certain roadblocks and prejudice.

@ All The Ladies Who Are Ticked Off… Now I am over these hurdles Marie mentions, but had I read an article like this when I was a younger woman, it could have helped me a lot, so I say, Thank You to Marie!

Sure, the post did not need to be gender specific, but it sure got a lot for press because it is! No need to be so rude to her. What’s with all the anger and nasty comments? Overall, it’s a helpful post. Look at the many positive aspects instead of the one controversial aspect.

There is definitely a glass ceiling in Hollywood and American government; the female issue is real. Statistics are proof. Hillary Clinton, strong-willed / masculine, took tons of flak only because she is a woman! To deny this is to be in denial.

@ Laura… Laughing. Cute. Nice list. Yes, let’s face it, men and women ARE different. X or Y. I have never seen a man get PMS like I get it. Oh wait, that’s not true.

@ TheGoose… Agree. Fair assessment.

@ T… Not about being a victim, it is about personal social struggles and finding the strength within oneself. …Nice comeback in your second comment. And “T” is alright with me.

@ Jessica… “but perhaps students just starting out or just anyone starting their own business” Exactly. Well put. For me, I think it was a combo of that, being young, and being female.

@ Ian… Yes! Thanks for adding.

@ Alexander… “If a Swiss man punched you in the face…” Yes. *wink* Laughing. That’s sort of how it goes, doesn’t it? A dog bites you in the face as a child, and you have a fear of dogs for life, when most dogs are really sweet. The rest of your comment is really good.

From parents and people who work with children, I have heard it many times, boys are different from girls. They operate, act, and think differently before society ever starts shaping them. Varying from one individual to the next are levels of testosterone and estrogen, so some men are more sensitive and some women are tougher.

Also, men gravitate to different jobs than women do, our values and likes tend to be different. In my immediate circle of couple friends, all the men do physical labor jobs and all the women do computer work jobs — by choice! A lot of the things men do, I physically cannot do, I do not have the physical strength; that’s just a fact. I would like to do more physical work, it is fun, but at 100 pounds, I can only lift so much weight.

You strong-willed women are the exceptions, not the norm for age 30+ women. The younger generations are different. The Internet is a new medium and finally an anonymous equal playing ground where talent and experience will matter more than gender or race.

good article…questionable heading, but definetely relevant points raised, gender specific or not

The comments have been interesting.

I think this is a case where both sides of the issue are right. Yes, the article does apply to both men and women. And yes, these are mistakes women are more likely to make than men.

It is not sexist to say men and women are different. It’s not sexist to say, for instance, women are more emotional than men. Women are more likely to make decisions based on feelings, where men are more likely to make decisions based on facts. Men do tend to toot their own horns more. And like to take more chances than their female counterparts.

Yes it IS 2008. We can talk about these things without interpreting it as an attack.

Some of the controversy here could have been avoided if the original post included statistics showing, for example, that female freelancers in field X with Y years of experience routinely charge less than their male counterparts do. Any piece that’s based entirely on assumptions opens itself up for serious questions, especially a piece that claims the mistakes listed are the “most common” ones.

In my slightly techie field, the most recent salary survey showed that women’s income lagged behind men’s in all job categories–except for the self-employed consultants. The female consultants made slightly more than male ones did, and they made far more than their wage-slave sisters. Those self-employed women don’t appear to be having trouble charging a decent fee.

In my field, the main problem appears to be employment. No matter what I did as an employee, I was kept in low-paid cleanup roles, even though I wasn’t shy about asking for raises and promotions, got great reviews, changed jobs, etc. When I finally quit employment, my income doubled. Now my clients offer me jobs, but there’s no way I would accept a job again.

If you’re female and suspect you’re undercharging, you might get inspiration from “Overcoming Underearning” by Barbara Stanny.