Your post was delightful. Thank you.

When my work started paying the rent, my husband completely got on board, for which I will be eternally grateful. He says things like, “If you’re working, why don’t I take the baby out so you can get some peace?” He is wonderful.

My own mother didn’t really understand that I was making any money until I laid out the numbers and my husband quit his day job. Now she’s one of my strongest supporters.

My mother-in-law, on the other hand, thinks it’s great that I have something to do while the baby is napping and that I just might be able to make a little bit of spending money at this some day.

I seriously wonder why working at a fast food joint is more respected than freelancing by a lot of people. Not that there’s anything wrong with the fast food thing - I’ve been known to enjoy a fry or two in my time - but why is that a real job but writing great books or creating fantastic software or designing beautiful websites isn’t?

Thanks again, and I’ll definitely be checking out Blonde Champagne.

Beautiful post. Great emotion and storytelling. Thanks!

Yes, this “internet thing” still seems like a fad to some people and they don’t understand that it is an entire industry.

Also, there is sexism involved. If you’re a man, you’re “starting your own business.” If you’re a woman, as Naomi said, it’s looked on as a hobby.

For me, the other challenge is getting people to respect the “work” part of “work-at-home.” The rambling hour long phone calls from friends to “chat,” the endless need for school volunteers (all the other moms are “working”), people just stopping by unannounced. Would they do that on an employers dime if I was working for someone else? No.

When I was in high school (and this was before the advent of the World Wide Web), we were told that we would probably change jobs 10 times during our career. That the days of staying with a company for life were over.

“Work” is a much more fluid concept than it was 20 years ago. The City of Houston is trying to encourage telecommuting and alternate work situations with its Flex in the City campaign.

loved & dugg

Excellent article!

It’s true, it’s not easy to convince people that work can be something other than 8-5 in a cubicle.

But from my experience, it’s also hard for new freelancers to stop thinking this way. When I first started working from home, I subconsciously enforced the schedule I was used to. I started to feel guilty if I took a lunch break longer than an hour, or if I tried to multitask by doing the laundry while working.

I also didn’t represent my work very well — when someone asked “where do you work”, I would say something self-deprecating like “in my living room wearing pajamas”, which doesn’t really help create a professional image.

It’s taken almost a year for me to let go and relax — now I just do what needs to be done, regardless of when, and I’ve stopped trying to justify my career choice. I could make more money if I got “a real job”, but I don’t care. I wouldn’t trade the independent life for anything!

I am in a complicated situation as well. My wife used to work but has recently decided to stay home after her maternity leave to raise our two kids. That alone is an unconventional decision in my community (stay at home moms here are usually either on welfare or became moms in their 40s and have a husband with a six-figure income to offset the loss of income). My wife, being in her early 30s, is almost a social pariah for her decision. I digress.

What this means is that because I work from home, I am constantly observed while I work. I have my own office in the basement but I never get more than an hour without an interruption of some kind (sick cat, diapers that need changing, wife and children who need chauffeuring to some place or another, etc…). The assumption is that because I am home, if I don’t look busy, I’m not working. That is rarely the case.

My extended family had a hard enough time understanding what I did when I was employed by the government (my mom told everyone I worked on computers - my response: “Mom, everyone in an office works on a computer. I’m not in IT.” That didn’t stop the flow of broken PCs on my doorstop but… I digress). My family is blue collar for the most part and only one of them has ever owned their own business (a door company).

For them to wrap their head around the fact that people would pay me exorbitant amounts of money to give my opinion on their business is an insurmountable challenge. My family isn’t stupid - it’s just that this mode of working is so far removed from their own reality that it’s almost imaginary. Several of my friends think that I am still working for the government as some kind of spy. One of my cousins has accused me of selling drugs.

I get no less than four job postings a day sent to me by friends and loved ones. They cannot accept the fact that I am happy and prosperous as a consultant. In short, yes, I feel your pain.

I just started teaching a continuing education course at my local university so that’s been a big relief for my loved ones. They now say I’m a teacher (despite the fact that teaching represents a small fraction of my income). I think I’m going to start telling people I’m unemployed and that I’m living off their tax dollars.

I have just started a manufacturer’s rep company so…I work for myself, by myself, and at home. So you could call me a freelancer. I left a cushy corporate sales position to go out on my own. I’ve taken an 80% pay cut to begin with, but It will grow back by the time my first baby get’s here (may 9)! …or so I hope.

We’ve dropped just about every luxury we had before, down to cable television and eating out, and instead, I get to spend more time with my wife! It’s completely worth it! and 2 years from now, I will probably be making more money in less time than I did when I worked 50-60 hours a week!!

Mary Beth,

Not only is this post right on point, but I really, really like your writing style. I want to print it out and show it to my husband who recently reminded me, “You know the heat bill triples in the winter, right?” That was his way of asying that I need to do more “work.”

Oh! I can so much relate to this post. I remember when I had a computer some of my relatives who visited us from their villages and who had never seen a computer or heard about it used to ask, “Why are you always sitting in front of this TV?” and my parents used to throw a glance of helplessness at them because, although they knew what a computer was, they had no idea why I designed websites and why people needed websites and they never believed that I actually got paid for that silly work.

After my marriage my wife perfectly understood that in order to finish my assignments I needed my own space but after we had a baby she started forgetting that. Every half an hour I needed to hold the baby for this reason or that reason and when that half an hour turned into one hour we never or rather she never realized. Just because I worked from home and didn’t have to follow the office timings my time became totally flexible. This took a huge toll on my professional work but somehow I couldn’t do anything about it. Then I gradually learned to do as much work as I could and stopped worrying about the rest. I’m still recovering from those days.

Very funny and enjoyable reading! And, oh, so true…

I am Mary Beth’s husband. Thank you all for your supportive comments on my bride’s post. Her writing is a big reason I married her, and I hope that someday it pays enough for me to be her personal pilot flying her around on book tours in a Learjet. I love my current career, but I’d rather work for MB than a tie-wearing manager like I do now.
Be sure to check out BlondeChampagne.com, where Mary Beth occasionally lets me throw in my two cents.

I just discovered this site through DZone.com and started reading. Mary Beth, in reading this I was sturck at how much it applies to my position as a non-freelancer. I have the company health plan, the 401k, and even a computer in the office. But I live and work 200 miles away from my home office. I’m part of that bridge between the Freelancers and the Office Drones, I am a Telecommuter.

I feel your pain in that people do not seem to understand that what I do is a “real job”. I have relatives calling for help because their computer is slow. Friends calling to see “whats up”. Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses knocking on my door to ask if I want to hear the good news. Yet through all this I am trying to work. I am a developer. I write code.

When getting into the discussions about work, people assume that I am somehow scamming the system, and that I spend all day surfing the web. I’ve learned that I cannot feel any guilt for the fact that I get up, throw on a tee shirt and lounge pants and stagger downstairs to my office for work. Because I don’t have to wear khakis and a polo shirt, or even (horror-of-horrors) a suit, it doesn’t make my job any less “real”, Just as if I were in the office, I can’t just drop everything and run. The work needs to get done, and I’m expected, and being paid, to do it.

I understand your frustration at making the world understand your job, and want all the freelancers to know that you aren’t alone here, and that some of us “Corporate” types do indeed understand.