Good post. I have the same. Some people are just ignorant. Most of the people who say this kind of things like “it must be easy to work @ home…” have never experienced before how it feels to run your own business / how hard it is. They have no idea.

Me too regarding taking days off and looking for myself. A while ago I decided to work less in weekends and take more days off. The most important thing is that I will not let the projects / clients make me crazy… I mean don’t let it get to your head. It is just work. Some of the projects aren’t even worth it to worry too much about. (in terms of budget especially) The work must be done, but if that means getting yourself sick or injured, is that worth it?

But I understand how hard it is, about constantly feeling the stress of completing task A, B and C asap, otherwise you won’t get paid to be able to pay the rent…
And on top of your super busy schedule, clients always come with stupid (in other words not really important things) new things to make your work even more hard. Without even getting paid extra. They think it is easy.

Great comments. I enjoy writing about the “psychology” of self-employment. It’s not just the work, but the mentality of doing it all ourselves that can be so hard (least that’s been hardest for me!)

Thursdays off–love this concept!

I’ve had this problem back in the day when I was freelancing exclusively — now I’m also employeed full time and moonlighting, Not only did my family and friends take my freelancing seriously, but they expected me to run errands for them during the day! Ugh, I’m glad those days are over.

But now that I’m working 50-60 hour weeks, the breaks are crucial to keeping me sane. Getting a full day (like today) to “check out” does the trick.

I am constantly getting digs - conscious and unconscious - from people in my life that imply I don’t work as hard, or that I have it made. my response is a simple and effective one: “yeah, I know! I love it!! I couldn’t imagine “working” for a living! that must really suck!”

nothing shuts someone up like having their insult turned around on them. of course it’s not true - I have a LOT of things to deal with that they don’t, and my work can be incredibly frustrating, but I’m not about to justify it to anyone. ultimately, I still believe I have it made over them. I hated being employed.

Great post and so true. When I left my corporate job to freelance full-time, almost *everyone* asked me, “So how does it feel to be retired.” Uh… hello? Retired? I work harder–and more hours–as a freelancer than I did as a corporate bee. I have a hard time biting my tongue on those situations…

Another approach is to give the speaker the benefit of the doubt, and accept the comment at face value. Assume (this can be hard) that the person really does “wish they could have a day off” and respond accordingly.

“Great! Come out and join me!” or “You *really* SHOULD take a day. It was really hard for me to break away, but it is SO worth it…”

Sometimes, I feel digs that were unintentional. I feel them because I’m really doing the “digging” to myself. If the speaker meant harm, I’m not acknowledging it. If not, then I’m not misjudging the speaker.

I totally hear you, Kristen–especially because I’m pretty sensitive, I perceive digs all the time. One thing that I’d push (though I’ll admit, it’s tough to do in practice) is assume the best from people. If it’s a friend (or a nice colleague, or something to that effect), take a look at the relationship and assume the dig was more a jibe rather than a veiled attempt to undercut you. In retrospect, I realize that many things that I thought were digs were probably just side comments or half-jokes, not anything that was at all meant to be the slightest bit negative.

I don’t think it was meant to be mean, either. More likely, your friend is a bit envious. I usually respond something like, “Yes, I had to work overtime in order to be able to take the day off. My vacation time is used up.” It confuses them. :)) Honestly, I take less time off as a freelancer than I did as a “regular” employee.

In my opinion, it’s how you take the message. You don’t have to get defensive. You chose to take the comment in a negative manner.

I’m not a freelancer, but I have plenty of side hobbies that I like to do to make money from too. I don’t think that message would have bothered me at all. Usually, I think when a person choses to take the message in the wrong way–especially when the post unintentionally doesn’t mean for it to be a so called “dig” — is because that’s when the person needs to realize why and how it makes them defensive.

It’s not a “battle”. It’s just more an innocent comment.

this post really spoke to me! knowing well what it’s like to work weekends, or pretty much anytime my husband is home to take care of the kids, and it’s funny when people comment about the fact that I am at home and should “let my husband get some rest” because, of course, he has a full time job! he’s good about it (most of the time :P) but i can feel your frustrations! great idea - we should all take thursdays off!

Someone said “are you your own boss or your own employee” ?