4 Simple Guidelines to Becoming More Social While Maintaining Your Success
Most of us have heard the cliché about the single freelancer who works around the clock from their home, devoid of any social life and consequently a sense of real purpose and meaning. The nature of freelancing lends itself to late nights and long hours, and we tend to shut out the world around us. We focus all of our energy on clients and deadlines, but we lose focus on one of the essential pieces in the pie of life: social interaction.
I was that cliché freelancer. All I was concerned with was becoming successful in my freelance career. My time and energy was completely consumed by my projects. When I finished one project, my focus quickly moved on to the next. I felt empty. I had everything I could have asked for from a freelance career, but in the process I had left my social life in the dust. It came to a point that I couldn’t even remember the last time I had a meaningful conversation with someone who wasn’t paying me!
I wanted to keep my success, but I knew changes had to be made to live a more social lifestyle. One night I sat down in my office and came up with 4 simple guidelines that would improve my social life, while also maintaining my freelance success.
1. Sleep at night, work during the day.
This seems like a no-brainer, right? Wrong. For the single freelancer, a normal sleep schedule can be very tough to maintain. I was stuck in a late night/early morning work routine for a very long time. I would usually sleep from noon to 8:00 p.m. It’s tempting to work long hours late into the night, but you can’t maintain a social life if everyone you know is sleeping while you’re awake!
Make a concerted effort to work during the day and be in bed by midnight every night. You’ll be more available for your friends and clients, and you will inevitably be much happier socially.
2. Get out of the house at all costs.
What good are your dashing good looks and charming personality if you spend all of your time confined within your home? I made a list of the cafés in my area with free wi-fi. Every week I spend a couple of hours working from each of them. I’ve found that I’m more productive when I vary my working areas, and I’m meeting people who do what I do. Just last week I met a freelance writer who was working from the café for much the same reason I was.
You can take this guideline ultra-literally too. On nice days I work in my front yard! I have a high-tech office setup that consists of a lawn chair and a patio table. You wouldn’t believe the interesting conversations I’ve had with neighbors and passersby!
3. Take classes or attend conferences related to your work.
There’s no better way to meet people that have similar interests to you. Sign up for one or two classes per week. Attend a local conference related to your field. Not only will you meet and talk to many interesting people, but you will also pick up valuable skills to help you differentiate yourself from the average freelancer. There is much to learn from people more skilled than you. Even better, speak at a conference on a topic of your expertise. You will find that people will want to talk and learn from you after the show is over.
4. Make your clients your friends.
Why not have fun with the people that you’re forced to interact with anyway? This idea can be somewhat controversial among freelancers, but I’ve had no problems with my client relationships. Often, instead of a boring meeting or a series of emails, I will invite my client to some kind of social event to discuss their project.
You can try the basics like coffee or lunch, or you can invite your client to a round of golf or a sporting event. I have one client that I know will give me more work in the future, solely because I spent some extra time getting to know him and his project on the golf course!
At first it was a constant struggle to implement these guidelines into my life. I had to get away from the unhealthy habits that had become painfully comfortable. Now, these guidelines are second nature to me. I’ve learned to get my work done without burying my social life. I couldn’t live any other way, and I’m happier, healthier, and more productive for it!
John is a freelance web designer based in Troy, Michigan. He enjoys writing about true life experiences in the freelance world.
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This is exactly what am trying to do except No.1 I think it’s really hard to be applied as I become more creative with more concentration when working at night while all messengers, tweets bla bla from friends are gone
this is just me
I’ve found it beneficial to work in spurts. So instead of trying to demand a straight 8 hour day out of myself, I will push to deliver work in chunks of either 2 or 3 hours at a time. Then, when the “chunk” is finished, I do something to clear my head. Usually a 15 or 30 minute break is all it takes. Anything not directly related to work helps out here. Then, I’ve found it much easier to come back to work and continue into another chunk.
I would argue that our jobs are all much more involved (demanding? perhaps) than many other jobs we could have. While there are many jobs that involve enough static to plunder away for 8 hours at a time, my work isn’t that way. And I would assume that many of us have more difficult work than others.
I agree with Ryan. I’ve kind of naturally fell into working in chunks. The problem is when your breaks are longer than 15 or 30 minutes. It can start feeling like you are just waiting to work all day.
Although im not a freelancer (i have a real office with employees) i have to agree with all but one of your points. Even though i have a cool office space about 10 minutes from the house, i still find myself most productive from the local coffee shops and panera breads.
I have to disagree (respectfully) with point 4. One lesson i learned as a kid, never do work for friends or family. They always suck you dry wanting the most work (usually not good) for the least amount of money – or free. So i say keep your clients as clients and go find new friends. As soon as your clients become friends they will want some leniency on payment due dates, or find a way to slip some scope creep in over drinks…
Phil
I definitely see your point Phil. You have to be very careful with the idea. I try to ‘judge’ if my client will become the person who will try to take advantage of a friendship before employing the technique.
The guy I went golfing with was the head of a very large corporation — I couldn’t see him trying to stretch payment dates on me. I can imagine that it would be more risky with someone from a smaller company.
Good point though! Be careful with those tricky freelancer-client relationships.
i’ve seen quite a few posts on this site talk about sitting in wi-fi enabled cafes. i think that it’s lame to make a coffee shop your office for a chunk of time. it’s fine for checking your emails, but could you not find me a more distracting place to do actual work in ? maybe i’m just not hip enough
Excellent post. I recently moved to a new city and the compulsion to put my head down and focus on work instead of getting out and exploring is one I’ve been fighting half-heartedly. Four excellent suggestions I’ll have to try out.
These are all really good points to remember. I only think one is unrealistic…. Point number three – taking classes or conferences one or two times A WEEK???? In the area I live, not only is this not possible (this type of frequency is not offered unless you are actually studying at a local college), but when conferences do become available they are costly. I would say trying to get into a conference or a few classes once or twice every six months is much more “do-able” in my particular area. I wish I could take more, but they are also demanding and time consuming!
Thanks for all the rest of the points, it’s good to remember this stuff to keep “life” in pserspective.
I would like to add one other important point that not only helps your social interaction situation, but your business as well – join your local Chamber of Commerce and attend their functions. There’s all kinds of like-minded people there (entrepeneurs), and the possibility of additional business contacts. Although they all vary, there’s usually interesting functions to attend with guest speakers and so on. Once a month for these functions is probably plenty.
Two more tips that aren’t mentioned: try working on-site or coworking. I have not tried coworking, but it was mentioned on FSw a few months ago. I am doing an on-site copywriting assignment for the next few weeks, and I think it will offer a nice change of pace.
I find it very difficult to do no. 1 and no. 2. I find myself spending hours and hours glued to my computer screen not noticing how fast time is passing by. Most of the time I am working, but I spend a lot of time reading blogs or just cruising the internet. I am addicted to my machine. I’ve noticed how much it is affecting my creative process lately. What do you do to break the addiction?
John, you have described me to a “T”. I just woke up! I have so many ideas floating around in my head that I can’t jot them all down quick enough. Next step…. take action.
I actually wrote about this on my blog last month. This issue is potentially a lot more serious that it seems. It’s called “social isolation” and its health impacts have been likened to a drug addiction.
Check out my article here:
http://friuch.com/wordpress/how-social-isolation-strikes-down-the-best-of-us
5) Marry a social butterfly.
Great article!
And I totally agree with Allena, getting involved with some who actually has a normal life, really helps
aha, a social butterfly. Good suggestion.
I’m still looking for mine. I have a thing for mildly insane women. They’re usually fun people, pretty social right?
How about volunteering for something that has absolutely nothing to do with your profession?
I just started spending a few hours a week at my local animal shelter – it forces me to completely unplug plus I’m getting my weekly karma points and all the doggy kisses I can handle.
I also agree with Ryan – I work in larger chunks, though. I spend about 4 or 5 hours on something and then take a 1 or 2 hour Wii break. Then it’s back to the grindstone for another few hours until dinner. I like the way it breaks up my day.
Perhaps it would be better to name :
4. Make your clients your friends.
into
4. Treat your clients as friends.
Great article! I have a mixed feeling about point #4 – making your clients your friends. I think it is case-by-case. I think it is better to keep some distance.
I’m with Gale. I’d rather have friends (from my personal life) over here and clients (from my work life) over there. I also follow the same policy when dealing with vendors and subcontractors.
Great article. In my experience, maintaining a good routine is the single most important part of being happy and balanced as a freelancer. I stick to regular business hours. I’m not sure about #4 either. I think part of a balanced life is to keep work and life separate as much as possible. If you work from home it’s often hard to just let everything go and pick it up again the next day. But when I’m not working, I really don’t want to be working at all, ot thinking about it. I’d rather be outside getting some exercise, or spending time with real friends (not clients). But I can certainly see how that personal touch can win over some clients. So if it works for them, then keep doing it.
I guess there is just always one more thing to do..
I’m juggling between running my own website design company and my project websites. I just feel it’s so pointless to work on other peoples websites when I could be making my own.
So I work all day on clients websites then evenings on my own stuff. The projects are just not yet enough to do it full time… how I wish.
Go the park to play basketball or tennis or whatever you are into. It is a quick way to meet new people, and playing sport has a positive impact on your work.
Here’s another option for us in the US: http://www.kickball.com
This is a great article. While I’m friendly with my clients, I wouldn’t really consider a friendship with any of them. There’s one or two gals my age that I’m cool with but we keep our blabs to email–nothing in person.
Very nice article. Change of environment is VERY important and helps balance out my mind.
I think many of us have found ourselves in a similar position – we work hard, long hours and when our heads come up for ‘air’ many of our friends are off doing other things. I’ve found I’ve had to be very self disciplined and literally make myself break from my home office by scheduling appointments/time with family and friends. I also have made an arrangement with an associate in a non competing business – I rent some space from her at least once or twice a week to work out of another office space. I get to be in another environment and I find I actually work very productively there. I’m planning on booking into her office 3 days a week in the fall. Rent is cheap – $180 per month – I put a spare desk and chair and file cabinet in and I bring printer paper with me.
Wow. this is an excellent article. I found myself getting more and more engaged in my projects while I was becoming more distant with my friends, family and even my wife……… Crazy I know. It got to the point that my wife called me a mac addict. That’s when I knew I had to make a change to get more balance in my life. Now I personal train as well as do (limited) design work.