11 Ways to Banish ‘Lonely Freelancer’ Syndrome
WAHFs (Work-at-Home Freelancers) have it tough. Sure, there’s freedom of work schedule, not having to sit in traffic or otherwise commute, eating a home-cooked meal and being able to watch soap operas or Oprah everyday. But for some of us it gets darn lonely working at home all day, every day. Combine the state of the economy, the Holiday season, or the start of the winter blues and the feeling of loneliness right now can be magnified manyfold. If you’re single, it’s even worse because working at home means it’s that much harder to meet people, even for casual conversation, weekly drinks or whatever. Here are some tips for weathering that “lonely freelancer” feeling that sometimes visits.
Banishing the ‘Lonely Freelancer’ Syndrome
- Have a schedule. Working long hours by yourself just reinforces the idea that you’re alone. No matter how busy you are – and because of that – you always need time to yourself each day. Practice efficiency in fewer hours. Stop working at a certain time, no matter how much or little you got done that day, unless there’s an emergency. Just don’t let those emergencies get out of control. This will stop you from feeling that you’re constantly working, as well as give you time for family and friends.
- Microblog. Use Twitter], Plurk, Pownce, or your Facebook status and spend a few minutes sharing your thoughts, a link or whatever. Just don’t let it get too addictive. (When I was weathering a downturn earlier this year, I spent 6 weeks on Twitter and mostly Plurk and Facebook, procrastinating.) An alternative to this is to post on other people’s Facebook Walls, which can stimulte a micro-conversation.
- Participate in a peer forum. If you feel like writing something more than 140 characters, or want to bounce an idea of off a peer, join a forum relevant to your niche. There are often understanding people that’ll lend a digital ear to a lonely colleague.
- Chat via IM. Some of my colleagues leave IM chat windows open to a few people all day long, especially if they’re collaborating on something. Unlike a phone call that ends as soon as you hang up, IM software allows you a permanent background connectedness to other people. If you need to ask a question or share something, it’s easy to do, get a response, and move on.
- Call friends, family or colleagues. If you really need to hear someone’s voice, you have a choice of phone line or VoIP (e.g., Skype, Sightspeed) or VoIM (AIM, GTalk, Messenger, etc.).
- Express it. You’re a creative person. Write about it the loneliness of freelancing, draw a funny cartoon, paint “happy” colors, take an inspiring picture or come up with a logo or web design that is uplifting. Find a way to express your feelings first, then counteract that with a positive action.
- Step out. Fresh air really does do wonders for you. Just stick your head outside for a few minutes, or go for an extended walk around the neighborhood. Not only do you get fresh air and exercise, but a nice daily walk can relax you and stimulate your mental idea bank. Or go run your weekly errands early, if you need to be “around” people for a bit.
- Take a course. Upgrade your skills and meet people at the same time. Alternately, teach a course, give a talk, attend a conference or workshop – all of which will allow you to network.
- Network, socialize, speed date. Have an informal get together, or go to one. Or have a weekly coffee or drinks meet at a local pub. If you’re single, speed dating is an opportunity for busy professionals to meet, with no obligations. Consider throwing a “networking” cocktail party at your home.
- Get visual input. Just a personal observation, but creative people tend to need a lot of visual stimulation. So look at a magazine or surf websites with lots of images. Use a Flickr app to browse through random inspiring images. Watch TV, particularly talk shows with lots of guests, not weekly dramas. Also watch “live” stage/ sketch comedies, not sitcoms – something where it feels as if a person is talking to you.
- Interact with a pet. There’s a reason why single people with pets tend to live longer than those with out. We all need physical affection, and if you’re in a position to take care of a pet, they’ll give you back some of that affection you give them and more.
Have you had the lonely freelancer blues? What did/ do you do to dispel that feeling?
Whether you want to learn while you work out or to make that commute useful, Freelance Radio is the place to hear all the tips, tricks and news of freelancing.
Freelance Radio
With over 100 weekly strips and counting, Freelance Freedom is an institution around here. Check out of all NC's brilliant work in the archives.
Freelance Freedom Archives
I just love this post!! You couldn’t write it better…. !
Currently i’m freelancing abroad for 5months without colleague’s or friends near me… so this comes in handy….
I really like number 10!
Thanks again for the great post!
Great Tips!
Thanks!
Thanks for the pointers. I’ve been looking for ways to break the “lonely freelancer” problem.
Smart tips, Raj, and a refreshing change from the “exercise, eat healthy and sleep lots” posts. I also agree with everything you wrote and use about eight of these tips myself.
The IM option is a big isolation-breaker for me, and a few friends are always available, so we tap each other every now and then to remind each of us to take a break and socialize for just a few minutes.
When I first got into freelancing, I was pretty shocked by the “lonely freelancer” syndrome. I seriously didn’t see it coming at all. I’ve been working at it since, and I think #1, 2, and 9 are right on the money.
1) Having a hard-set work hours is CRUCIAL! I can’t state that enough. If you don’t set a schedule for yourself, your work WILL become your life…and loneliness will become one of many unhealthy problems.
2) Twitter is perfect, makes me feel like I’ve got some co-workers chatting around me throughout the day (come join me, http://www.twitter.com/chris_yi) but doesn’t intrude on my work. AIM is too distracting to actually get anything done.
9) Networking events can actually be fun and aren’t as lame as they sound. Check out sites like Meetup.com to meet up with other freelancers to socialize, not to get new biz. I’ve made some good freelancing friends this way and it’s always fun talking, complaining, and helping each other out.
But what’s been the most important for me would be one I’d have to add:
12) Make the STRONG INITIATIVE to hang out with friends! For us freelancers, our social lives (just like our work lives) takes strong effort and initiative. Since you don’t have coworkers, easy hang-outs are much less likely to land at your feet. You’ll have to put in extra effort to MAKE these hangouts happen. Call your friend for a movie, invite those people you met last week to a happy hour…don’t wait to be invited, BE the one to make the invitations. If you put forth this effort, you’ll be surprised by how much you get back in return and how much stronger your personal network will become.
Sorry for rambling on so long, but just wanted to share what’s worked for me. If you wanna chat about this (or grab a drink!), feel free to contact me anytime.
coworking!
great way for freelancers to feel part of a greater community.
here in austin, I am a member of Conjunctured http://conjunctured.com
When i deposit a juicy check in my bank account I feel free like a bird.
Great tips!! One of my favorite articles here lately
I really like what you said about playing with pets. And by the way, dogs are MUCH better for that than cats. I try to get the cats to play with me all the time. They’re no fun at all.
I think that number seven really would be number 1 in my book. Getting out and seeing the world can be inspiring and can improve your productivity in moderation. Having a schedule is definitely part of it.
I’m with Chris on his #12-make the initiative.
I used to wallow in a pity party of “I can’t make time for friends with hours like these. boo hoo.” However, now that I’m starting to find a balance with #1 I’ve been discovering – I do actually have free time! [It may be 8am-noon, but it is there].
You can’t wait for someone to call you up for a brunch date on a wednesday – you have to wake yourself up and do it.
Taking a course is a great idea. It’s one of the ways I stay sane.
I was just thinking about this today when I realized I hadn’t seen a real person in over 48 hours.
If I can add a #13 (Chris’s #12 is a great point):
13. Change venues and spend time around people.
Some of the people I talk to the most are the baristas at assorted local coffee shops, where I’ll work when I feel like I’ve been a hermit for too long. Technically, it’s not really any different from working at home (I keep headphones on and don’t do much socializing), but the subconscious effect of having people all around me is comforting. It reminds me that I actually still exist.
-Jason
Shouldnt there be a #13 -the easy way out?
That is: rent a table or a mobile workspot somewhere?
I found myself slowly going crazy working from home.
Now i havent been woring from home for a few years, its still somewhat the same the problem:
you’re never a part of something in the same way when youre a freelancer.
never working to this mutual goal.
But having people around you does ease the loneliness.
Even if its just a “hey” in the morning and nothing else.
My girlfriend took a pet and it’s driving me mad, always annoying me, i don’t really think is a good idea.
For the rest i agree pretty much.
I just think that freelancing sometimes is only, and the first thing you have to do is to accept it, otherwise freelancing is maybe not for you.
Uhhh , very good tips!
I love #10.
I have my favorite movie playing while I work. Most times I don’t even WATCH it. I like HEARING it.
Also. Although I love HIP HOP. I can’t work to it. I can only work to NEO SOUL/R&B or NEWS RADIO.
Thanks for the article.
Yes, it’s really accurate about freelancer loneliness issues.
And it’s really great that freelanceswitch.com community exists.
I myself feel better since I’ve discovered this website.
It’s a kind of silent (or an active, if the article is good) support for all my freelance activities
Haha this post is hilarious. I’m definitely getting a puppy for Christmas!
Writing in coffee shops helps me when I’m going stir crazy from being home too much.
I made it a habit to have lunch with either another freelancer or a potential customer about once a week: All electronic tool can not substitute for a face-to-face encounter…
I have worked as a freelancer before and it didn’t suit me I think you have to be a certain type of person, and possess a lot of varied qualities.
I envy anyone that does have the qualities.
Many writers are into the whole “lonely writer isolation” thing- and I think it CAN fit in with many a writer personality—maybe t hat is why I am/was so shocked at how lonely I get during the day. And online interaction doesn’t cut it. By the time I go pick up my kids I am READY to chat the other parents’ and teachers’ ears off!
Great article. And judging by the comments, very appropriate.
I’ve been freelancing from home for 10 years, and if it weren’t for the dog, I’d probably never go outside or get out of my chair. I think having a dog is integral to freelancing from home. I get outside a minimum of 3x a day with him, and even have a standing dogpark date with neighbors (who also work from home with a dog) 2x a day.
I’ve gotten better about having lunch dates or after work dates with friends to get out of the house too. You really have to work at it bc it’s way too easy to just sit at your desk all day every day working or surfing.
Also, one for your list, get to the gym or go for a run or walk. Exercise is very important not only for your poor aching back (from sitting all day) but for your mental well-being.
‘Here, here’ to all of that.
Having worked through much of last weekend, I’m having a ‘going slower’ day today – and I see I’ve ticked nearly all of your boxes. Find out what I did (in addition to on-line networking) at http://mswellwords.blogspot.com/2008/12/red-tailed-hawk-and-three-legged-dog.html
An obvious omission is to bring your laptop to your local café. There’s a camaraderie that develops between freelancers who see each other regularly. I’ve made lots of acquaintances and made a few friends working away from “the orifice”.
Great tips. I like it. Being a freelancer myself, I think that freelancer have to keep a free mind so that they can tackle new projects. And be ready to take on new projects or for multi-tasking projects as well.
Sometimes it so happens that we have to work on multiple projects at the same time. This is the time when one tends to get quite irritated and the things don’t seem to work smoothly. So in these time freelancers have to keep their mind cool. For this, the tips above are just very helpful I must say.
Thanks for this, I am single and run into this often. I do have a part time job in addition to freelancing so that is good too. The one and only thing I miss about non-freelancing life is the interaction with co-workers so I do have the best of both worlds though I still feel like I get in a rut.
I love dogs, would like to adopt one, but I’m a little weary of being a single parent. Sometimes I offer to take my friend’s dog for hikes, and then I could always volunteer at the local animal shelter to walk the dogs there – that would cover 7 and 11 wouldn’t it?
Facebook helps but can be distracting. It was fun once to post a fun photo with a clever message attached and I got some fun reactions to it – it did help fill a void. No, it’s not making me money but it lets people know I’m out there.
Nice article, Raj!
Since I tend to be a bit of a recluse, anyway, loneliness is not a huge problem for me, but I find that having regular social contact with other people does help me maintain a somewhat saner outlook on life, and helps make me a more well-rounded person. I’ve heard it said that how you talk to yourself about what happens to you is more important than what actually happens to you. If you work without social interaction for long periods of time, you’re just talking to yourself for more of the time–interaction with other people can help keep you from veering too far into self-absorption and the maladies that it can bring.
Get a laptop and work at the park, coffee shop or library.
For me less internet connectivity = more work completed.
Great post, I agree with most of your points. And it definitely helps to “take a walk” around the neighbourhood after being cooped up for most of the day in need of dire inspiration.
To dispel that loneliness, I make sure I e-mail a friend overseas everyday, or drop them a text. And I make sure to go out at least once a week for meetings or to catch up with friends. Then, I head home to confront the wide screen. It’s always a lot better when you share your experiences with others, too.
Anyone said Coworking already? You could even start one in your city which makes it a win-win situation…
I’ve been working on diversifying my income streams so that I don’t have to spend all of my work time being home alone at the computer. And what might Martha be up to? Well, I’m building up my skills and portfolio so I can get out there and sell my photography. I’m also working on becoming an on-site consultant.
OMG! This article really hits home with me. I mentioned the way I feel to my wife and she doesnt understand. I guess I must wine about it often, cause she often says “I dont know what more you want from me”. I know I have her support, but I have been having this “Lonely freelancer feeling” and looking for something, someone or somewhere to fill the gap. Thank God I have a title for it and now know what I’m battling. Thank you so much Raj for the eye opener.
I decided to leave the house work from an internet café for at least a few hours per day. This has gotten me out of the house enough to not have too much unhealthy time alone in the house.
I miss my days as a freelancer..Joining co-working meetups is also a good option.
Indeed, great article.
The best cure I´ve found for lonelyness is getting tons of work LOL. That way you just dont have time for feeling lonely..hehehe. Of course, sometimes its just not possible.
Reading FSw is also a good way to deal with loneliness
Great article! I would add that getting out and working in a public place like a coffee shop with WiFi is another good thing to do. Sometimes I will spend a good four hours writing computer code in a place like that. It is good to be around some background noise and the random conversation. Plus, I see a lot of other work at home types camping out in the coffee shops.
Woah, that’s one sad article..
I like visiting my clients and working on-site at their office every once in a while.
I like “Interact with a pet”. Thanks for the tips!
I like the tip “Interact with a pet” the most! Everything else I am already doing!
Sorry, I pressed enter too fast in a previous comment.
That’s why I don’t work from home!
A friend of mine who owns a company had a few empty desks at his office and he offered me to use one for free. I prefer working in an office environment, helps me focus.
I play soccer and kickball with pub teams. It gives you some great exercise (well not the kickball) and a whole team of people to hang out with when you are feeling the syndrome.
The pet one is crucial for me. Having a dog in the house while the wife is at work, gives me someone to vent to, as well as a reason to get up from the desk every couple hours to go out for a walk.
Fantastic tips, all!! Thanks for all the extra suggestions. I totally overlooked working in a cafe (primarily because I don’t do it; I get distracted), and co-working places are a new concept for me. I live in a small city/ town, so I’m not sure they exist here. I used to go up to the college (library), where I’m an alumni, but when they found out I was “working” on my laptop, I stopped going. And with all the talking that goes on libraries these days, I couldn’t get much writing done anyways.
I usually check out my “daily’s” when I feel bored or stuck, most of them are artistic web sites, so it gives me inspiration also. Sometimes I’ll take a glance outside, see if anything interesting is going on, maybe a take a few pictures for Flickr or Facebook. And of course my all time favourite is dancing to some good tunes.
I have to agree with someone up here, this is one sad article. It sounds like an AA meeting: “Hi, I am a freelancer and I am very lonely!”. My advice is to think of the reasons why you became a freelancer. It’s in the word, how easy can this be? You know FREE LANCER…
Hmm.. When I was having a small block of Lonely Freelancer Syndrome earlier on in the year, I turned to tweeting more, doing a fair few small ‘css only’ designs, which were posted to my deviantART profile as journals. I also turned to photography and Alert-Ego’s to talk and express ideas abstracted from myself.
I freelance from the North Pole, 400 miles away from any person, so I would add “Learn to speak Polar Bear”
Okay not really but I enjoyed your article.
Great article! I can certainly relate. Although I’m back in school now, I experienced this quite a bit when I freelanced full-time. The “lonely life” is definitely just not right for me! I know several friends who have solved this problem by finding low-key part-time work to get them out and around people. Whether it’s working retail at a favorite clothing store (great discounts are another plus!) or perhaps at Starbucks or some place similar…just a few hours a week doing something completely different, around people, can make a world of difference.
It’s a good thing that our websites don’t show what we actually looked like on any given day.
Uhhhhh. Not so hot.
The Yoga pants. Messy hair. Baseball caps. Raccoon eyes. Coffee breathing Freelancers.
This IS the glamorous life. Ain’t it grand.
Yah, I need to get out more.
All good stuff but all ADDICTIVE stuff…one tough thing to let go once you are on em…you have named em all, twitter, facebook, IM, calling friends….
Number 6 is one of the most important to me — as a beginning freelancer not every gig I’ve been doing has been the most inspiring. As designers and writers we all have creative energy.. For me it’s not always satisfied through doing web work and after awhile it builds up and creates a creative block. Doing anything just for fun, like a painting or sketching expresses that creativity, leaving me inspired and ready to tackle the next project!
I’m currently looking to help some people in my area to start a coworking type idea called a “Jelly.” We’d get together once very two weeks to work together. I’m looking forward to getting out and interacting more to avoid this syndrome we’re all talking about!