What’s Your Inner Voice Telling You?
In 2007, I was an employee working with a great company.
My boss was intelligent and inspiring. My coworkers were amicable and worked well as a team. The office environment was entirely casual; no suit and tie required. The pay was acceptable and vacation time fair.
The work was adequate, with some days more challenging than others. Office communication was radically transparent, as the staff would often meet weekly to review the recent triumphs and discuss the goals ahead. By most accounts, I should have been content with my career.
But something was missing.
It started during my morning commute. I would suit up for my bike (depending on the weather) and pedal along the streets, admiring the sense of aliveness that comes with breaking a light sweat. Upon arriving to work, I removed the lock from my backpack and secured my bike next to the rear office entrance, and gazed at the steps leading inside.
Suddenly the tiny voice in my head piped up: are you sure this is your path?
The statement wasn’t critical or mocking. It was merely asking my opinion on this seemingly natual routine of heading into work every weekday for the requisite 8 hours.
Yes, I told the voice. And headed down the steps.
Making Excuses
As the weeks wore on the voice didn’t disapear. Instead, while I typed up reports on my computer, designed a new web page, or printed another document, the question contined to reverberate in my head.
Are you sure this is your path?
I found myself forcibly silencing the voice. I reasoned that a steady paycheck was worthwhile, the experience invaluable, and besides, what else would I do instead of this job?
True, I had always been somewhat of a self-starter. In high school I coded websites for extra cash, wrote short stories for the love of writing, and even animated cartoons in my free time. In fact, my wife’s first exposure to my personality came from browsing my photos, video clips, and essays posted on my website.
After graduating university, I felt it was time to gain experience in a “normal” 9-5 career. I felt I lacked the knowledge and business network to try freelancing full-time.
As a compromise, I started a travel blog Brave New Traveler, and developed it as an outlet for the creativity I felt wasn’t being utilized in my current job.
I continued to ignore the voice.
Taking The Leap
A year passed. My employee contract was up for renewal. Nothing had really changed in the job itself; I was still doing similar tasks, not hating my work, but neither inspired by it either.
On a day like any other, I remember sitting in my home office, answering a few emails from friends. I found my mind wandering to the impending employee contract; what I should ask for, how I should negotiate.
Underneath this mental noise, I felt the tiny inner voice asking its question: Are you sure this is your path?
Immediately, I smothered the voice with excuses as to why I should stick with my current career: the money, the stability, the team. After all, many people hated their jobs, and I actually liked mine…most of the time.
Suddenly, it hit me: I was afraid.
I was inventing reasons to avoid the uncertainty of making the leap and becoming a freelancer. The unknown is scary. The known is predictable.
Yet if I actually listened the voice inside, I realized it was telling me to trust the unknown. It was telling me to follow the path that made me afraid, excited, curious, elated.
It was telling me to follow the path with heart.
The Path With Heart
At some point in their lives, many people ask themselves this same question: am I doing what I should be doing with my life? Am I on the right path? And more importantly, how do I know the right path when I find it?
Don Juan, quoted in the book The Teachings of Don Juan by Carlos Castenda, believes the right path is always apparent, if you know how to look.
Look at every path closely and deliberately. Does this path have heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn’t, it is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere; but one has a heart, the other doesn’t.
One makes for a joyful journey; as long as you follow it, you are one with it. The other will make you curse your life. One makes you strong; the other weakens you.
A path without heart is never enjoyable. You have to work hard even to take it. On the other hand, a path with heart is easy, it does not make you work at liking it.
For me, the path with heart was to make the leap to freelancer.
So that very night, when earlier I had been pondering the next year’s employee contract, instead I wrote an email to my boss.
I explained how grateful I was for her mentorship and for the opportunity to work with her company; that the position was absolutely right for someone else, but it was ultimately not right for me.
The Road Ahead
Since that fateful decision, I have never looked back.
Freelancing has provided me the space to create the life situation that I enjoy most, combining work and travel to develop projects that I infuse with my full passion and energy.
Certainly, the unknown has been stressful and more challenging than a regular 9-5 job. But the rewards are felt everyday.
First of all, I’m happier, and this happiness trickles outward in all aspects of my life. (Anyone who loves their work knows this to be a fundamental benefit). And second, I feel okay with uncertainty, since security is ultimately an illusion anyway. (Just as Wall Street).
This was made possible because I listened to my inner voice. I stopped making excuses and embraced the path with heart.
Of course, not all inner voices speak the same. But if you quieted your mind, took a deep breath, and really listened…
What’s your inner voice telling you?
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Wow. Spoke right to me. I am scared! I’ve been fighting for a job I am valued at – and I finally have it. It is a great job – but something isn’t right. I know what it is. I have everything I need to freelance full time! I just – am afraid to not have health/life insurance. Life is easy to pay for – but health. Phew, costly.
Thanks for this story.
“One makes you strong; the other weakens you.” I am being weakened by this job.
“On the other hand, a path with heart is easy, it does not make you work at liking it.” I am in love with design – I do it all day on accident!
I am working on this transition! I am going to do it.
Great article.
About six month ago I did the same. I liked my job and the people I worked with, but I spend most of my free time hurrying the time till Friday, wishing for the week to be over. Once I realized that I was wishing away the time I was not going to get back, I knew I had to make a change. It was scary and stressful, but slowly I gained new footing. And I can see a new path. It is not as clear as my 5 year plan used to be, but I am ok with this. It leaves space for something unexpected to come into my life. Now I can wonder where I will be in 5 years
Annya A.Uslontseva
Graphic Designer
http://www.auadesign.com
My inner voice is telling me to not believe my outer voice. =P
But no seriously, you are right as most of the time your inner voice is correct. I have gone though all those past moment in my head of my career and personal life, of what the outcomes would have been if I have just listen to my inner voice. Most of the time it has been correct. I think it is something everyone, not just freelancers need to learn to do more.
Talking to a potential client about how he liked none of the comps and now wants an “abstract background” while tailing another for unpaid invoices. It’s makes a person totally quadraphenic, to quote a Who album.
The voice is actually telling me to stop being a freelancer and get a job. I followed that same voice and became a freelancer in 1999, and now nearly 10 years later, it’s telling me to seek gainful employment — that the path I chose was inevitably riddled with all sorts of obstacles, namely the path of most suffering. Suffering is good if you learn from it but the cards can be stacked against you even if you think they are not. The voice than asks, “How long do you intend to suffer?”
Woken up since not much time on this sunday morning. Just reading this. Thanks for the fuel and smile it gave me.
Best wishes for this new year !
Hey Ian,
You are the man….. When I was reading this i felt i am going in the flashback of my life. It IS what i am going through currentlly in my life. But I dont know why I am not courageous enough to take a step ahead. Maybe that is my financial condition or the freelancing market in India that is restraining me to take a step ahead…….
Hope even I get out of this at the earliest…….
It happened to me the same way. In my case the question was ‘Are you sure you want to give your right arm to this studio?’ After having a nightmare and two nearly-accidents at the studio involving my right arm, it was no time before I quit. I never regreted from that decision. I’m still in touch with the people at the workplace, but I’m no coming back no way.
Inner voice?
Hah… Voices in my head told me working full time job + freelancing 
Best solution generating maximum income.
Viktor Dolud
Web Designer
My inner voice always pushes me. It does not let me come to rest. Even if I have finished a task and everybody ist completely happy with it. “Simly doing remittance work does not help you to stand out of the crowd!” it says. That is kind of bad. I really have to relax a bit more. I am working through the weekends the last half year but see no real progress. Just average work.
It is a long process but I slowly recognize, that this way of living is a dead end.
Well, I try to stay positive. Following your inner voice is good but before you do, shape it with a good portion of rationality to not destroy yourself.
Great article and really recognizable. When I was still working for a boss, I also heard “the voice”
.
Sure, freelancing is uncertain and scary in the beginning, but do you really want to die one day and think back about what you didn’t try in your life? If you really want to do something, give it a try, start small, maybe even without quitting your daytime job and see how it goes.
I’ve never been happier and never looked back after quitting my fulltime job.
–
Joris, web designer
http://www.goodbytes.be
There are a number of ways to handle that fear of uncertainty, one of which you described with Brave New Traveller. Find out if your boss would be open to changing your work arrangement, enabling you to dedicate 1-2 days a week to freelance projects. It’s the best of both words; the stability of a regular income and the freedom of self-employment.
Seemed to be a good starting point for a number of people around me who have either decided to stick to that arrangement, or later on moved towards being full time freelancers.
This is exactly what is happening to me right now. I work for a relaxed good office. Sponge balls get thrown around during the day. I have all of the newest tools. They are building a ‘creative’ wing that us designers get to design with a gym and a photo studio. But I just wait till friday comes every week. Working from home for them makes it easier but I know it is only a temporary solution. Ultimately I have a family to provide for so some buffer cash has to be saved then I’m gone.
My inner voice spoke up very clearly to me this summer. I had been working by then from home in Greece, 2 minutes walk from the seaside and far from huge office spaces I detest. Now I was in a huge eastern european city about to meet a client for a project that would require frequent visits in the office environment and all the hassle with transport, going to the centre etc. So I was walking to a fancy office building, one of the nicest one can imagine. And before I even got there something inside me had started protesting and squeaking quietly ‘nooo pleeeease’.
This, after long time of informal, home-office in the Mediterranean and me work was a reaction to:
* stream of people in hurry pouring out of trams and subways
* deserted centre (where are coffee shops?)
* need to commute plus: it is ‘normal’ to spend 1.5 h to get to work
* face to face formal meetings in the office, which are a waste of time in 80%
And I realized I will try to do all possible not to come back to office/corporate routine.
Thanks for all your comments everyone! I’m glad the article spoke to many of you. The biggest thing I’ve learned from this all is that the unknown only “seems” scary. In reality it’s much more exciting than you think
That’s a nice article! It made me realize again why I am not moving forward. Avoiding your inner voice is hard work and definitely not rewarding. Time for a change I guess.
Great article Ian, definitely reminded me that I’m on the right path now. After ignoring my inner voice for the last few years, I finally decided to listen to it and have felt better ever since. While I’m making the transition into freelancing while I continue to work full-time, I know that if at some point my full-time job becomes too much and I can’t ignore my inner voice, I’m ready. I’m finally ready!
Great piece, Ian! It’s nice to read something encouraging others instead of trying to scare the daylights out of them for a change! Your inner voice is your gut — and rarely are they wrong. I started my Web Development business in 1995 — everyone thought I was nuts! But my gut, my inner voice was telling me this new technology was going to change our lives — and that is exactly what happened.
If you have a passion for something that you can’t get it out of your head — go for it! Don’t listen to most others who will talk you down because they are too afraid (or don’t understand your passion) to take any risks in their lives. With that said, your inner voice doesn’t negate the need for you to do your homework and due diligence but it most certainly can focus you on striving for your dreams!
If I had listened to everyone back then about opening a little “Internet Studio” in a sleepy town on the IL/WI border, I hate to think about what I would have missed. No, it hasn’t been easy 100% of the time, but that’s part of anything you set out to do. When you have that passion, you can survive the roller coaster ride and spit out on the other side smarter and more energized than ever. Worst case you fail — so what?! I bet you’ll still learn a thing or two in the process and that’s a good thing for when you give it a go again.
Remember, the only risks you’ll regret are the ones you don’t take!
well, I am a little bit scared from listening to my inner voice cause I think I am twisted…
Am sure someday I will switch to full time freelancing, I just don’t have the guts to do it now.
I started hearing that inner voice a few months back. I knew what I had to do, but – I was scared of the unknown. Scared of not being able to pay my bills, no insurance, etc.
Out of nowhere, the company I worked for let me go. We had about 3 large contracts get put on hold due to the economy, and that immediately meant they had no money to pay me (and one other person).
I had no choice but to start my freelance career. It was my choice not to look for another job. I’ve been doing freelance ever since and I am very happy that the company let me go. Most people give me a weird look when I tell them I was happy to be let go…but it is the truth.
Great article. Thank you!
Ian-
This article resonated with my own experiences, and I especially appreciate that you pointed out that security (and all the other “benefits” of a “regular” job) are really illusory, anyway.
As a full-time freelancer for the past several years, I agree: I’ve never regretted my decision and never looked back. I’ve worked harder than I ever did before, but I really love what I do, and I am grateful that freelancing gives me the opportunity to work from home with my husband, to travel when we want, and to generally live our lives according to the rhythms that move us each day–rather than the punch in and out of a timeclock.
Great article, and one that resonates with me in many, many ways.
I’m freelancing, loving it, working on inspirational projects and brands, and for the first time in a long time, am happy with myself and what I do.
Before that it was a very different story, working in the corporate where deceit, lies, back stabbing and politics happened every day. Where passive bullying and sheer aggression were tolerated, and I had all the creativity, fun and inspiration kicked out of me.
Never, never again.
Don’t hold back. Anything is possible
You nailed one of the best teachings from all of the Don Juan books. Awesome that you’ve included that.
Most days I hear my inner voice loud and clear. Unfortunately, my outer voice is reminding me of my massive student loan and moderate credit card debt.
I know I’m not on the right path at the moment, but the path I’m on (IT Freelancing) is enjoyable enough and will make the “right” path more comfortable when the time comes. Just gotta pay off some of these bills first…
Great article, Ian!
Great article. I’ve been fighting with my inner voice for a while, but with commitments of mortgage and kids and husband with a small business of his own, the “security” of a full time gig is comforting … but un-fulfilling. I am yet to take the leap of faith … just dipping the big toe in. It takes my breath away to think of taking the big leap, it but my conscience says wait, wait, not yet.
I know where my path is leading, I just haven’t reached the garden gate yet.
Maybe you’ve provided the “push” in the right direction!
Great article! My inner voice tells me that you did the right thing and I should do the same!
Great article! Fear is definitely what holds me back from going out totally on my own. It doesn’t matter how much I know or how skilled I am – the biggest roadblock to success is being afraid to go for it.
Fantastic zen article Ian. Good to see features here that go deeper that the technical side of freelancing and plays with the heart of what we all do. So many people over look the spiritual side of loving what we do just because we choose to do the unknown. I believe we are amazing people because of it.
This was a GREAT post. I am coming to a point in my life where I will be making a similar move. This is inspirational.
Great article. Something I can relate myself with. In these situations it feels like you mind has two parts where each is fighting for its own opinion
This is exactly, what I am experiencing, although I haven’t made that step yet because of this:
1. I need more skill in programming (and designing), I’m learging Ruby on Rails every day after work so I can start when I feel I have enough knowledge and practice.
2. I want to start attending a university and without a job I couldn’t be able to pay the bill. I also need to collect some extra money in case I have no work if I go freelancing.
That’s my long-term plan. For the short-term, I don’t really know what to do, my official work doesn’t inspire me anymore. I tell myself to wait until I am prepared even though every day is boring. Am I doing right?
I’ve been through the same path (great boss; fantastic team etc) and have taken the decision to be a freelancing consultant. Let met see how the inner voice gets me through.
Excellent article! It’s good to know I’m not the only one who has a rather indignant and chatty inner voice.
ops…i just did it!…this morning i left my job. i worked ther as freelancer but i had to go every day, full time…my freelancer “state” was only an escape for taxes and i hate this!…i wanna work as a freelancer and even if i’m trying to do this since 4 years, i wanna re-trying again!
I thought I became schizophrenic when my inner voice kept telling me to become a free lancer. Nice to learn from the article and comments that i am not alone.
I remember how hard was this decision to me. Maybe because I was afraid. Mainly because I was afraid. I was very appreciated at work, good pay, good working hours… but something was missing. And frustration was crawling in. In the end, I did it. I was very scared but in the same time, I was happy. Now, I’m doing what I want and most important, the way I want it, without someone breathing in my neck telling me “it’s good enough, let’s show it to the client”. Always hated that. It’s never good enough, not without soul. Sure, we do things for money, but there’s more, a lot more than just money.
So, this was my path to freedom. I’m glad I’ve found it and I’ll never leave it, never looked back, never regretted anything.
I always silenced my voice by telling it “I know this isn’t my real desire, but I’m working towards it.” Of course, that was an excuse. It took being away from work (consulting in a 2-person firm, in fact) for 5 weeks, on the other side of the world, before I woke up one morning and realized I couldn’t do it any more. Instead of a quiet voice, it was a slap in the face.
That was almost a year ago. Cut to the present, and I’ve downsized my consulting and built my first product, the way I wanted to do it. I feel great!
Thank you for inspiring more people to listen to those inner voices, so easy to quelch.
Excellent Post! I recently went forward with my inner voice, and put in my two weeks, after working at my company for 2 years. I’m 22, and moving from Ohio to Maui after I finish out this job. I do feel afraid, excited, curious, elated as you put it, but I can’t begin to explain how I feel about my current situation with where I live and the endless duties that my current job revealed… I thought it was completely awesome that you quoted Carlos Castenda, as I’m currently reading his books. This has been by far the most inspirational post from freelance switch, considering my situation. Thanks Ian!
Great article! I’m down that path right now myself. This is great piece of motivation to get all of us who would normally not dare to try because of fear to actually follow our inner voice and go for it.
Very inspirational post and comments. Thanks to everybody for sharing your experience listening to your inner voice. Logic tells me I’m nuts; but the inner voice tells me that I am doing the right thing. As I start to bring in more business, I believe that what will bring me most satisfaction and have my inner voice telling me “I told you so” is having the power to choose.
I’ll be able to choose my clients, my work, my work schedule, my priorities, and anything else that needs choosing.
I can’t believe how everyone thinks going full time freelancing is so much fun and easy to do. It’s more than having a passion to be on your own. It involves losses, risks, stress, rejection. Yes the first few years will not be easy until you have set yourself up some sort of repeated client base and referral system but that does not happen overnight.
Also you need peoples skill, networking outside of web (getting out in public and meeting people face to face).
It is not so much about selling your product but rather what clients can take away from using your services. Competition if fierce and in todays economy I would advise anyone who has the hots to go solo to stick to their paying full time job.
Also a lot of inexperienced graphic designers new to the filed think freelancing for few hundred bucks here or there will make them rich. Sure it helps out to buy beer and video games but it does not help pay for major living expenses, let alone running a family, mortgage and kids.
Think twice before you get too excited to make the jump.
Great article! I have a fortune slip from a fortune cookie sitting on my desk that stares at me everyday that reads “The time has come to follow your heart.” I got that almost a year ago and haven’t acted on it yet. Needless to say, my urge to leave the known for the unknown is getting stronger. Your article couldn’t have come at a better time!
Thank you for the inspiration!
I had a similar situation. Everything was working out great for me. The job was awesome, the boss was really a good guy, the pay was steady and satisfactory. That’s how I knew something was terribly wrong. So I had to quit the job, and start freelancing struggle that lasts to this day. But I feel the path, finally.
“It is much easier for warriors to fare well under conditions of maximum stress than to be impeccable under normal circumstances.”
- Don Juan Matus
Stay strong.
This is a great article, I ask myself this question too every day.
Jesus I almost cried !!! Maybe it´s because I´m making this leap today. Great text dude, I believe all people have their roles, ours is not to be inside an office, be that office a good place with nice people (your case) or a grindhouse with a bunch of stupid guessers (mine).
Strength and courage !
I found this article today by way of Twitter (you posted a Gandhi quotation which I saw) and then through your website. Uncanny, as I’ve had many of the same conversations with myself and my friends. It’s always nice to see someone who has asked the same questions and made similar choices. “Responsibly” wrapping up my life before making the plunge in the next month or so.
Thanks for the perspective!
Inspiring Article! My inner voice has been asking me that for too long. I wish I had your strength to take the leap I need to open my little store I’ve been dreaming about for years. The financial aspect keeps me back and the lack of a knowledge to run my own store by myself.
I’ve been slf-employed for years, but that’s not the same as going in debt to open a business in hopes that it will be successful. I’m not giving up yet!
I’m happy it worked out for you. Thanks again for the article!
That is such a great story! And you succeeded wildly with your dream. I imagine that was probably not even part of your goal.
I had a lot of “me too” moments reading this. What an inspirational idea – taking a frightening step into the unknown where you want to be when the known where you are is not even bad – just a dull ill-fit. Thanks a lot for sharing this!
My inner voice says to get up and leave the corpo-fascist workplace, immediately, or a.s.a.p….
thanks for your post This is inspirational.