How to Work at Home When Your Life Is a Complete Madhouse
I’ll be honest– my home life is completely insane. My house is like a zoo with two feral monkeys on the loose, tearing apart everything they can get their little hands on.
There are spills, wrecks, crying jags, minor explosions, loud thumping sounds (heads on walls probably), and occasional horror-movie-style screams. It’s amazing that two tiny people can create so much chaos.
My wife does all she can, but she’s outnumbered. I provide back-up, but I’ve also got a job to do. In spite of all the madness, I still somehow manage to write for several hours each day.
Speaking of which, I should get started on some work right now while they’re eating pancakes. Here are 5 of the ways I keep from going completely nuts and manage to keep my freelance writing projects on track.
Tip 1 – Don’t Get Stressed
Even when your life is absolute madness, there are always ways to de-stress. Maybe it’s exercise, soothing music, meditation, games of computer solitaire – whatever works to get your mind off the insanity. Find one or two things that help you de-stress and schedule short sessions throughout your day. If you don’t schedule them, they won’t get done.
Also, make sure they’re not in any way bad for your health. A fifth of Jim Beam each day might cure your stress, but you’ll end up with worse problems. Taking potshots at birds through your office window may help you stay grounded, but it’s dangerous and illegal. Drilling a tiny hole in your forehead may make everything all right, but… you get the point.
Tip 2 – Be Here Now
Kids operate on their own time. You have to be on that time with them. You also need to be focused on your work. If you work at home, they’re going to distract you and you should let them. When they need something, stop work and forget about what you were doing. When you’re with the kids, be only with the kids. When you’re working, be only working.
This shifting of gears is a bit tricky at first. In fact, switching too much actually adds to your stress. If I can’t work 30 minutes or more, I don’t bother trying. The reason is that working in 15 minute chunks alternating with taking care of kids leads to mental meltdown. It’s better to work only when you have a reasonable stretch of time, even if you have to wait for it.
Tip 3 – Rearrange Your Sleep Schedule
There are two ways of doing this – get up early or stay up late.
You can get up while the world is still dark outside and watch the morning joggers while you work away. You’ll get several precious hours done before the first child wakes up and starts harassing you. Or you can wait until the kids are tucked in and snoring, and then get down to business.
I’ve made the shift to mornings even though it’s painful for me. I’m used to it now and it’s a much more productive time for me. Experiment with it and find out what works best for you. Just make sure you get enough sleep. If you’re zombified by sleep deprivation, you’ll make things much harder for your brain (and your patience).
Tip 4 – Give Up and Go With The Flow
As a writer, I’m obsessed with deadlines and the work I have to finish today. But through my hectic family life, I’ve learned how to let things go completely and forget all about it. Somehow, it gets done. Learning to give up on the idea of controlling things in your life is an important skill to learn when you’re a parent.
Of course, you can’t let go too much or else you’ll never get anything done. I set hopeful deadlines for myself and realistic deadlines for my clients. The work usually gets done somewhere in-between. If there’s a sick kid or an emergency afternoon playing at the park, it helps to have the leeway.
Tip 5 – Remember Your Passion
What keeps me going even though my house looks like a tornado and Godzilla hit it at the same time? My passion for writing. If you keep in mind why you do what you do, it’s much easier to work anytime you’re allowed to. When my time gets squeezed into a few small hours at night when reasonable people are sleeping, I come alive. Keep your mind focused on doing what you love to do and you’ll get through it.
Do you have any ideas on working at home with your active children underfoot?
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Re-arranging my sleep schedule as well as having my own office have both helped me greatly. When the little guys go to sleep you have a few hours of quiet time. I also try to wake up an hour before they do so I have some more time.
If their small enough to need sleeps you can also get a lot of work done then.
I’m not sure what it’s like nor what it takes to be a writer. But I’m a coder – and I can’t do 30 min increments of coding. Not with the deep, backend server-side stuff at least. I need at least 1-2 hour blocks for me to get into it and really pick-up momentum and productivity. A break in that, sets me back quite a bit. So for now I’m glad I don’t work at home…
I can relate to this all too well! Thanks for the great tips.
It was a relief to learn that I’m not alone lol.
We have an ADHD kid with us and sometimes very noisy pre-college school as neighbor.
I work from home, I also schedule days to work at the coffee shop or library. That way I am out an about and know that those days I do not have to worry about kid distractions. I also use them to schedule any meetings so I do not have to bring clients to my house. (I find this very unprofessional).
I have begun to start my day earlier as well and have found I can get quite a bit done before the day starts! That helps alot!
These are always such interesting articles – kudos on the tips
ahh, written from a true, realistic work at home parent. I too have 2 little monsters terrorizing my house daily. I have learned that it helps to make to schedule of what needs to be done, but chucking it at any moment. My kids don’t understand “mommy needs to work” when they are fighting over toys, dumping all the DVDs on the floor for the umpteenth time and screaming cause they want something NOW!
Thanks for all the comments. I’m glad you all can relate. It’s funny how you work so hard to be able to work at home… and then you start thinking about renting an office to get out of the house.
I could have just read tip 2 and left it there to be honest. With a 5 year old and twin 2 year olds, working while they’re awake is an impossibility. Pick early mornings before they wake or after bedtimes and both your schedule and your relationship with your children will benefit.
Personally I choose the later due to the age of the twins; they still have their moments when they feel 4.30am is a good time to get up in the morning :/
Wow Matt… I feel for ya.
These are some great tips. My house looks like an 18 wheeler drove through it. And I only have one kid! Lately, I have gotten better with at least keeping my work area tidy; I am paralyzed by mess and really have trouble concentrating because I feel like I need to clean first.
It helps that my daughter likes to draw and color. Sometimes she’s clingy and wants to be near me, so I set up a spot for her to do her work while I do mine. It’s a nice arrangement.
Tracy, I do that too. My daughter has her own little desk, her own computer, and all of her drawing stuff.
It’s really funny because a couple of days ago I came into my office and she’s sitting at my desk. Her head is in her hands and she’s staring forlornly at the computer sighing really dramatically. I said, ‘What are you doing?’ She said, ‘Writing articles.’ I thought, ‘Do I really sigh like that??’
Good tips!
One other one we’ve had success with is having designated work and non-work parts of the house.
This keeps mental focus on work when work is being done, and mental focus on recreation / family when we’re not working, and makes sure that we don’t try to get into the “constant shifting” of 15 minutes of a time leading to a mental meltdown that you talk about.
That’s a really good one! And also try (I emphasize ‘try’) to tell the kids your workspace is off limits. I got my daughter her own toy computer so she can work alongside me and my 1-year-old has his own too (a calculator).
I am personally not in this situation but have many friends like this.
Rearranging sleep works for most situations even for people that have day job and have freelance job on the side, works.
Using headphones when there is a busy and distracting environment is helpful to concentrate more
Headphones are a great idea! Or earplugs. I could use a pair of those right now, actually.