Exercise
“I want you to feel like you’re going to die.”
That’s what the woman on my TV tells me every single day. Then again, I’m the one who’s putting her there.
It’s my workout DVD, and the scary yelly woman puts her hands on her hips and hollers at me to jump and kick and push and crunch and I cannot believe I paid eleven dollars for this.
As a freelance writer, this is often the beginning and the end of my physical movement for the day. Sometimes there is trudging up and down the stairs for water or gum or alcohol or other major sources of sustenance; sometimes I actually exit the house. But mostly, it’s me and Yelly.
Even though I can technically stop her any time I want, I fear it would be far worse should I actually decide to do so. I’m afraid she’ll somehow find out I hit pause in favor of hoisting some mashed potatoes to my face, and she will track me down, and she will show up on my doorstep with a yoga mat and a whip. And I’ve got enough problems trying to scrape together a living as a writer without this woman crouched down next to me, hissing “YOU BE A WOMAN!” as I utterly fail to hold a push-up position for a minute and a half.
But here’s something else Yelly Woman says: “This is your workout.” The first twenty or so times I heard this, I immediately placed it in the “Well, Duh” file and continued with my poorly executed power squats. But one day, I realized that she may as well have been screaming at me about my career.
See, in every other at-home workout I’ve ever attempted, the exercise host always offers an out: “If it ever gets to be too much,” they’ll say, “press pause and take a break.” Yelly Woman will allow me to stop only in the event that I can’t hear her anymore because I’ve passed out. “I get results because I PUSH YOU!” Yelly says as she orders me to perform jumping jacks with weights in each hand.
The other thing I think I should tell you is that Yelly Woman has made me lose about six pounds.
Just as the softer spoken exercise hosts have ineffectively allowed me to stop and rest, I’ve all too often taken the first exit ramp to mediocrity when it comes to my freelance life: My day job has left me too exhausted. I need to dust the laundry baskets first. I’ve been working all day on my clients’ blogs; can’t the book proposal wait?
And so I sit, my career collecting fat and flab.
Anyone who’s worked out knows the burning insistence of lactic acid in the muscles—that trembling scream from inside the body that begs for rest. The same sensation washes over me in the weaker moments, of which there are many; when I’ve discovered that I have been defeated in an essay contest by a nineteen year old, when the two-digit checks arrive, when the editor sending the rejection email seems to think I have changed my double first name to “Maree.” All too often, I fail to push.
This is my workout.
This is my column.
This is my client.
This is my feature article.
This is my paycheck.
I get out of it what I put into it.
It’s simpler, as a member of the commuting public, to vibrate negativity at the boss, the payroll specialists, the administration, the management. But for freelancers, it’s all us. When we aren’t where we want to be, there’s only one person to blame.
And so it is when I find myself with a handful of chocolate and the yelly woman silent in her DVD case. I could comfort eat and complain, ending the day only with slightly larger thighs and a blank page.
Or I could open a new document and pick up the hand weights… and feel like I’m going to die. At first, anyway.
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If the writing career fails, at least you’ll be fit. They you can make your own training video
I love your blog! And this is the best post yet
I feel like we’re sisters. I’m going to put that box of chocolate away now 
and get something started. Thanks for the encouragement.
And here I thought this was gonna be just another “workout and you’ll feel better freelancing” article. I like where you’re going with this, cause the thing that’s unique about freelancing is you DIRECTLY get what you put into it. Every hour you’re not working, every moment you decide to slack off, is money that you’re not earning. Simple as that. As freelancers, we gotta be our own bosses and light that fire under our asses (and keep it lit!)
nice article,
and I agree with chris…. totally true…
when freelancing… no one to blame but yourself….
I totally agree to your point. It is common that after some time in freelancing, we often loose the fire required to keep us moving. As a freelancer its our responsibility to re-prioritize what we need to do and get it done in a systematic manner. Exercise as you mentioned will definitely help a freelancer to ignite the fire within by having an active body and mind. Said that i think i will restart my exercise schedules once again.
Happy and Healthy Freelancing to all
Great article. Freelancing gives us the opportunity to arrange our weekly schedules anyway we want. If you can’t find the motivation to keep yourself fit, how will you find motivation to stay focused on your work? They are really one and the same.
This is a good and well written article but I have to disagree with it. People are falling apart in our modern society because we’re all trying to do too much all the time and something has to give.
I don’t think more effort is the answer; the answer lies in simplifying your existing life so you can fit those important things in (exercise, freelancing career, etc) without pushing yourself over the edge into stress, depression, and ultimately being so overwhelmed you don’t take any action at all.
i thought this was a working at home makes you fat article
(which is why I go to the Y every other day- no, it’s not for the eye candy that is my 20-something trainer).
instead it’s a “i built this business with my own two hands” article, which I like. Go Maree!
Very cool article. I feel you on losing motivation and then gutting it out. Great story about the motivational workout vid!
I jumped in like Allena did thinking the same thing. This article is inspiring though. Thanks.
And I thought I am only one who exercises every day using DVDs. I am into Denise Austin. I have maybe 15 of her DVDs/VHS tapes. She is very positive and a lot of fun!
Thanks for sharing, its nice to be motivated by others sometimes.
Hello All,
I think you should start some type of Live Video Community that allows freelancers to have live video water cooler chats to keep in touch with real people.
Thanks,
wlynn
i want to know who yelly is.
Fantastic article! Very well written! Loves it!
Very funny. I have a few “yelly women” that have been in their dvd cases for too long!
Yes, well written it is! I kept thinking “this is really funny” as I read through. More Mary Beth posts please!
Great article! I feel the same way with school. Sometimes college is a drag and you want to quit. I could be lazy and just stick it out for the degree, not caring about my grades. But how would that help me in the long run? It’s better to apply myself and be able to walk way from school with not just a degree, but an education.
most insightful thing i’ve ever read here. it’s so obvious and yet i’ve probably only made the connection in passing.
i’m going to the gym. thanks!
Well said!
I’m with Liz. I want to know who “yelly” is. I could use workout video like that. : )
Hi, all, and many thanks for the very kind comments and emails.
I was told that some of you are asking after the identity of my personal trainer. Yelly is the gorgeous Ms. Jillian Michaels, a trainer with “The Biggest Loser,” a reality show here in the U.S. (I believe she was also on the Australian version.) The workout in question is “The 30-Day Shred,” and it’s available here: http://tinyurl.com/5kzf5w
Way to put things in perspective! My issue is often feeling too overworked from the client projects to pursue one of my own as soon as I’d like. Thanks for the extra motivation – both to dust off my sneakers and get my butt moving again, and to spend (no, MAKE) some extra time today for a small project that keeps getting pushed aside.
It’s tough being a freelancer. But remember the prefic “free” in the phrase. There are trade offs in life sometime!