You Know You’re a Freelancer When . . .
Here’s a celebration of all the ways we are uniquely freelancers… set apart from our cubicle counterparts, yet aware that we are perhaps still not so different. Or are we? Enjoy!
You Know You’re a Freelancer When…
- You’re starting to grumble about your 5-step commute from the bed to your computer. The snooze button is soooo much closer…
- The car stays parked in your garage for days at a time and somehow you continue to grow without sunlight.
- You can vacation as often as you want now. Chained to your computer and phone, yeah, but hey: the ocean looks beautiful from here and yes honey, I’ll join you out there in a moment!
- Working in the buff is actually an option! Just remember to switch your Skype chat default to “Answer with NO Video!”
- Work begins stalking you around the house, skulking and whining like an unloved pup. Work is home is office is everywhere – ACK! I’m sure there’s a zen proverb around here somewhere…
- You finally remove all the fart jokes and Mafia Wars from your Facebook Profile because your playground just became your chief marketing and advertising venue.
- Laptop parties with your freelance buddies are your brilliant attempt at “having a life” and still getting things done.
- You catch yourself bouncing ideas off of your apathetic cat and your chatterbox four-year old.
- You start playing pranks on your unsuspecting canine because you miss the office shenanigans.
- You finally get paid for knowing more than the person who hired you.
- Strangling yourself with the laptop cord is a popular and approved reaction to client emails and phone calls.
- Friends pimp you out for favors: “Oh yeah, I have a friend that can do that for you. I’m sure he’ll do it for super cheap. In fact, we’re good friends, I bet he’ll do it for free!”
- You can justify anything to one client by simply referencing a vague “other client.” {Yes of course I’d love to have a 5am meeting for your East Coast team! Unfortunately, I’ve already booked that slot with my Australian client.}
- Social sites your old boss banned aren’t even fun to visit now because they’re actually on your Client Acquisition To Do list.
- You talk excitedly about the latest WordPress plugin or Photoshop brush you just downloaded… and the barista was only asking for your coffee order. {“It’s just so lonely working from home, you see. Nice to have someone to talk to is all…”}
- You’re actually nodding and laughing right now, filled with that warm and fuzzy feeling that “yes, I still fit in somewhere.”
Much love to my fellow freelancers! We may be spread out across the global office but our common world still unites us. 
I’d love to hear any other items you’d add to this list. If I get enough responses, I’ll do an updated *2.0* post with the additional items. Just ask to be “Anonymous” if you don’t want me to attribute the item to you!
A few more….
1) You spend more money on pajamas than real clothes. Frankly you don’t even wear clothes anymore.
2) You know the exact time the mail comes everyday and are on a first name basis with your mail person. And “No, there are no checks today…”
Good ones!
So true, I over dress every time the house now because its the only time in my day when i can’t wear PJ’s
Haha totally agree on the PJ’s front!
Beautiful and true.
regards.
lol Most points made me laugh. Excellent post!
I would add:
You loved your home pc/laptop before and used it for entertainment purposes only, but now you find time to get away from this very pc, because you use it manly/only for work.
Kindest,
Nabeel Amin
warm and fuzzy yes! and about “6″ Yeah, we are united in removing mafia wars from facebook…though I leave out just the recent onces for help etc, in case you want to join
I would add:
Talking to oneself then answering oneself
so so true!!
100% true.
Your working on Saturdays.
Where’s the retweet button when you need it? Sooooo true all of this.
The retweet button is right there. Below ‘Related Articles’ there is a green rectangular design. In this green box, there is an option to ‘Save to Bookmarks’. To the right of this option, there is a cartoon guy with a loudspeaker. Besides this guy is the retweet button.
…somehow you continue to grow without sunlight
Hahaha so true with this point. Plus, you start talking to yourself.
Great list …but it needed at least one reference to ‘bunny slippers’ – here it is!
You know you’re a freelancer when checking the mail is the highlight of your day (because it brings a nice fat paycheck!).
I totally agree with you on this Susan! Every freelance morning always starts with checking my email.
When every Freelance Freedom cartoon makes you go “yep, been there…”
Can’t relate to #3 or #9, but the rest are hilarious!
So true. I’m definitely part of this club!
How about when your family (in the same room as you) begins to communicate with you via email just to make sure you actually “heard” them.
I say to my husband all the time “Honey, if you want me to remember something… send me an email!”
lol… lately I’m stating to get emails from family and friends too, it’s freaking me out a bit to be honest
It seems like you “just heard” each of the 1,200 songs on your iPod no matter which one is playing.
This so true ! awesome
… when you start talking about your virtual colleagues’ anecdotes (read on forums, of course) as “I have a friend that…”
OMG!!! hahahaha, i know what u mean ;3
Oh I love this one
LOL love them all especially the pajama ones.
…when you don’t know the difference between night and day.
…when you use an alarm to remind you that you’re cooking so you don’t burn the house down.
…when you forget you have visitors and they entertain themselves
True!
Hilarious, and so true. I’ve only just entered the realm of freelance life, but I can see many of these things in my future, lol.
17. You do some of your best work atop a porcelain bowl and know how to mask the flushing sound when on a client call.
Heather
Thanks,
Ciprian
Give me a couple of months, and I’ll be hitting all of these milestones, minus the 4 year old chatterbox and plus one more cat and two dogs who humor me. Right now, I annoy my boyfriend with constant writing talk and am debating a second cell phone just for business and applying to writing job ads like crazy. I’m already at #s 3, 5 and 6. Next up is #11.
Yep, I’m guilty of more than half of these and I laughed at all of them. Great post!
-Moki
you know you are a freelancer when u blog about every bit of ur life and knowledge u have attained so far……
so true!!!! love the facebook one and the growing without light!!! just great
You know you’re a freelancer when your vehicle still has the full tank of gas you put in it over a week ago.
lol so good, where the re tweet button.
Freelancers. Modern mercenaries. We ride alone.
To us: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsanF9wZbn8
You know you are a free lancer when you have to explain every line that you said to the next person so that you don’t look like an alien to him
I would add:
…. you’ve been answering your first phone call at 8AM and now it’s 3PM and you’re still wearing pyjamas and dirty hair because you haven’t had the time to take a shower.
…when you have to set an iCal reminder to tell you when to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner – it is easy to forget when you’re in the “zone”
…your daily “to-do list” holds more items than is possible to complete in even a weeks time.
…the courier truck drives by and you’re hoping it’s got some great new paper samples in it for you
haha these are great!
Haha classic.
1. You have the perfect excuse not to attend to some lame event “because you have so much work” or “you just got an emergency job come in.”
2. Your friends call you a week in advance to arrange something as simple as going to the cinema and make you book the tickets in your credit card to make sure you’ll show up.
3. You say to your significant other, “I’ll be right there, just one last e-mail.” And they say, “You’ve been saying that for the past hour and a half!”
Ah, yes, Marta…common dialog in this household:
“Honey, dinner’s ready.”
“K, I’ll be right there.”
“Honey, dinner’s getting cold.”
“Yup, just finishing up this e-mail.”
I can relate to all. And:
You hop in your car and drive somewhere, ANYWHERE, because, EGAD, you’ve just GOT to get out of the house!!
Very funny and true also!
1) You can spend days at a time without ever leaving the house. The furthest you get away from work is to the front door to check the mail… and you know exactly what time to check said mail…
2) The highlight of your month is finally venturing outside the house, only to walk to the bank a couple blocks away so you can deposit the AdSense cheque… that has taken nearly a year to accumulate the minimum payment threshold.
You just made my day! haha You had me at #1.
Great read, I’m sharing this with my freelancer friends!
Invest in a good pair of slippers!
Great list. There must be a sequel to this post.
You Know You’re a Freelancer When You can’t live without internet connection..hahah very obvious..^_^
Oh I had to hold my belly laughing at all your responses!! So fantastic… there will DEFINITELY be a 2.0 post with your great additions. So glad you enjoyed this. I had way too much fun writing it!
You rent a 1 bedroom apartment and sleep in the living room just to get the IRS tax deduction for turning the bedroom into the office.
@ Chris – that’s hilarious! I’ve almost done that!
Sometimes a writer can only write what he or she knows. Yes, that’s what I’m doing right now
Another one I just thought of….
“You develop an unexpected allergic reaction to silver and garlic…”
Well said. Ouch there for some point for me. But yeah, well said!
This one is pretty true for me:
… You don’t remember ordering that new poster/book/gadget that arrived in the mail today.
So sad, but true. Find your happy place.
So funny and so cleverly written!
Me, I constantly try to Ctrl-Z my way through unfamiliar cities/streets.
Hey everyone! I just wrote the follow-up Part II of this post and wrote a totally new series of “You know you’re a freelancer when…” tid bits inspired by EVERY SINGLE ONE of your comments and shares!
It’s in the queue so look out for it… you all are geniuses. I had a ball playing with all your fantastic ideas.
Loved this post, love the comments too – makes me feel so, um… normal.
Loved the article, 15 and 16 are just awesome, happens to me every time, people just understand me
…
When you develop a preference for burned boiled eggs.