Why Being An ‘Average’ Freelancer Might Just Be Enough
As a business-focused freelancer, how do you feel about the area of personal development? Have you found it useful in reaching for success in your freelancing business? Or do you switch off or cringe when you hear Tony Robbins’ gravelly voice start to speak?
If you’d asked me this as a hard-nosed strategy consultant 4 years ago, I’d have scoffed in your face. Ask me this today and you’ll likely get a very different response.
I understand why it provokes the response it sometimes does … the advice you read is usually centred around the notion that “you have special and unique talents that no-one else has and you can do anything you want”.
Fluffy clap trap? Quite possibly. Does it help you in your freelancing business? Not always.
There is one concept I read recently however that makes so much sense that every freelancer should read it and remember it…
The story comes via one of the world’s leading “success” coaches, Michael Neill, with whom I studied NLP.
He tells us how one of his mentors, Steve Chandler, once said to him “Have an average day!” – something which took Michael aback. Steve explained to Michael about a scientist, Lyndon Duke who studied “the linguistics of suicide” – studying suicide notes looking for linguistic clues to try and predict and prevent suicidal behaviour in teenagers.
What he found was something he called “the curse of exceptionality”.
In a society where everyone is trying to be exceptional or remarkable, the outcome is likely to be one of two things:
- Nearly everyone fails because, by definition, if too many people are “exceptional”, then exceptional becomes the norm
- The few who do succeed often feel more isolated and estranged from their peers than before
Therefore you have a group of people who never quite feel good enough, hold themselves up to those who are exceptional and will always find themselves wanting; and you have a group or people who are exceptional yet often feel misunderstood and consequently are often lonely!
Do the following sound familiar?
- You sometimes look around, compare yourself with peers in the design-, writing-, blogging-, developer-world and despair because you look at their success and wonder why you aren’t up there.
- You feel like you’re playing catch-up with Jane, John, Steve or Kelly because look what they’ve achieved in just 3 short months and you’ve been plugging away for months with nowhere near as much success.
Lyndon Duke realised that a lifelong desire doesn’t have to be for anything exceptional, it can be for a very simple form of joy and comfort. He said, “Happiness and a meaningful life come from making differences. But this is the most important rule to follow: Always make the differences you can make not the differences you would prefer to make but can’t”.
A life of cumulative ‘average’ acts and successes doing what you love can culminate in an exceptional life.
Think of the backing singer who never makes it big time as a solo artist but spends their life doing something they love, travelling the world and meeting the ‘stars’.
Think of the web designer who creates websites for non-profits without ever getting major design credit but is indirectly responsible for helping process millions of dollars for charity.
Think of the writer who writes a column for the local paper which connects, entertains, directs and informs their local community but never wins a Pulitzer.
The next time you’re reading around the blogosphere lamenting why your blog doesn’t have several thousand subscribers, or you’re wondering how to fill your portfolio with the likes of Nike or Apple, or pondering why you haven’t managed to write a New York Times bestseller, remember this…
You don’t always have to be the best, the most high profile or the most well-connected freelancer to be a success; being average can be more than enough. It can even be exceptional.
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Amazing post! Thank you for that!
Keep Rocking!
Aloke Pillai
Somebody is going through an early midlife crisis…
This advice should be read by every aspiring freelancer. Having grown up in an environment in which academic achievement and intellectual exceptionality was not only expected but rewarded, I at times find it extremely difficult to cut off the “I’m not good enough!” switch even when my work and accomplishments show otherwise.
Perhaps this is a byproduct of the way children are raised in cultures that focus on individual uniqueness and achievements; perhaps not. In any event, I think the ability to embrace one’s average talents is as important, if not more important, than embracing that which makes one exceptional. Excellent post.
Huh. I hadn’t thought about that, and frankly, I’m very glad that just being happy and satisfied is a perfectly normal goal to want to pursue. I never wanted to make millions (okay, just one, maybe) or become a famous celebrity. I did want a life of a little above average and not much else. I don’t mind having to save up for something or working hard to achieve a goal. I’m happy, and that’s what counts. No?
Learning to be content with one’s own abilities, talents, status, etc. is a philosophy that can be applied to just about anything in life.
It can be daunting at times though to look at what others are capable of. Especially when its something that’s so easily comparable as a portfolio of work or a client list.
Great post.
So, we don’t have to keep up with the Jones after all?
Keep in mind, though, there’s a difference between feeling successful personally, and having a successful impact on the world around you. Two of the examples cited were successful for other people, but that doesn’t mean that they thought of themselves or their work as achieving success. It is entirely possible for other people to be thankful you did what you did, but for you to not have felt good about your work. Such a fine line when defining what feels like success to you.
Hi, as a young graphic designer I can really relate to this. You see so many talented graphic artists out there that you just want to be like however I am only 20 and I still have many clients for my design work – not everyone needs masterpieces if your in local business.
Thanks for pointing it out.
This is a great post! This definitely applies to me (a lesson I MUST learn) and should be kept in mind by other freelancers as well! Like Philip, I grew up in a family that highly valued academic success. I’ve always been an overachiever and there are times that the fear of failure itself (because I try too hard to produce something “exceptional”) is very debilitating to any creative!
Designers particularly can be perfectionistic, and too critical of our own work and abilities. It’s easy to never think you are good enough. Add to that the fact that many other designers have big heads, and like to feel better about themselves by pointing out the flaws of others. That’s why it’s dangerous to compare yourself to others. Don’t design to impress designers; design to impress your clients. After all, your client writes the check, and if they are happy, you have done your job.
It’s great to look at the work of others to learn and to have something to aspire to. But if you find that it leaves you feeling depressed instead of encouraged, change your habits or your attitude.
Thanks for a great article!
-Darryl
While the post brings up some great points, I think the overall message is actually quite scary. The world is overcrowded with very mediocre, average freelancers. The “average” freelance web designer is probably an 18 year old kid with a few years of part-time experience. Is that what you want to aim for? I don’t think so. Never settle for average, or average results will be what you get.
Now some of those average freelance designers probably make an above average income, but that will be due to above average marketing, networking, or client relations. So if you are one of those average people looking for a way up but you don’t see your skills improving much, these other aspects of the business may give you a way to rise above the norm.
But if you aim for average in every aspect all it really does it make you unmotivated. You’ll look around and see how average you are and you’ll be completely content with that and never aspire to improve. I’m sorry but that’s not anyone idea of success, and in the long run it won’t help you you feel better about yourself either.
I totally agree with Benek.
The real contest is always between what you’ve done and what you’re capable of doing. In every walk of life, it’s the aspiration to improve that drives people to achieve. If everybody wanted to be just average, the human race would never have improved. We wouldn’t have had vehicles, electricity or governments. The very computer you are reading this on would not have been possible if some dude thought “let’s just be average”.
The reason why FSw is so widely read is because it’s the best freelancing blog around.
As much as I like this post I live by the philosophy of always striving to reach the stars. When you shoot for perfection even if you fall short you will still be excellent. There are definitely people out there who take the notion of perfection to extremes, but I disagree that settling for mediocrity is a solution. Every living organism strives to grow and you should strive to grow as well, in your career, in your relationships, and giving back to others. Never settle.
Hmmm, interesting take, Benek, and I would not disagree with saying we should not aim for average.
But, I didn’t read the article as saying that. I took it to mean that you should indeed do your best, but to not worry so much if your best isn’t as good as someone else’s. It still has value, and you still have a place. Like the article mentions, the world needs backup singers as well as stars.
-Darryl
“You’ll look around and see how average you are and you’ll be completely content with that and never aspire to improve. I’m sorry but that’s not anyone idea of success, and in the long run it won’t help you you feel better about yourself either.”
Wow. Contentment is not anyones idea of success? Or is it not YOUR idea of success, Benek? Personally, defining what makes me happy and motivated has meant that a lot of traditional ideas of success have dropped away and become redundant. I think in this case, ‘average’ is not about mediocrity – it’s a word that helps you to jolt yourself into realising that being a rock star designer/ copywriter/ animater etc is not necessarily the route to fulfillment.
Here’s something C. S. Lewis said along the lines of this article. “No man who values originality will ever be original. But try to tell the truth as you see it, try to do any bit of work as well as it can be done for the work’s sake, and what men call originality will come unsought.”
Very good article!!
But, this article might be misinterpreted as a compromise…but its totally not…..The main point you have to remember is ….
“Whatever you are doing, you should indulge in it and thats the only and greatest reward you can get and would matter to you most”
Well written post. Unfortunately, I couldn’t disagree more. If Einstein, Adam Smith, Leonardo Di Vinci thought along those lines, we would probably be living in a different world today. It is embedded in our DNA to compete and strive to be the best at our chosen tasks.
“Reach for the moon, because if you don’t make it you’ll land among the stars.”
-unknown
every time i start to feel like it might be silly to try and start a freelance business doing web design & development, i come across another site that’s utterly terrible. and to borrow from steve jobs “i don’t mean that in a small way, i mean that in a big way.” poor design, poor usability, poor coding practice, poor optimization.
and then i’m reminded – somebody paid for that. someone actually wrote a check and handed it over – for crap.
that’s when i’m reminded that there’s plenty of room in this space (and other spaces) to be successful. i don’t have to be a superstar, i just have to work.
As a freelancer who does a lot of work for non-profits, I thank you for the reminder that even though the whole world might not know of my designs, I am still making a difference and that can be quite satisfying!
While I understand where the article is coming from, and seen a lot of designers settle for average work because of above average marketing, I would agree with Benek and the rest.
We sometimes miss the good by settling for the average. And we sometimes miss the best by settling for the good.
Nice piece. I would say this is where they get the term “best in class.”
What ‘class’ or ‘category’ are you – the “typical,” “expected,” or “usual” one?
Great, then be at the top of THAT class. Be extraordinarily ordinary.
This article came at the perfect time for me. Just yesterday I had finished a piece that I had slaved over for many months, and felt quite proud of my accomplishment, but then I put it next to another piece of artwork by a much more accomplished artist, and suddenly my work came up short. It didn’t matter that I had learned a lot over the months of working on this thing, that it’s one of the best pieces *of my ability*, when I set it next to the other person’s work I felt deflated.
The hobby I’m involved in doesn’t even recognize anything other than perfection, so it gets really hard not to think that everything I do must be perfect, and compare myself to the top dogs. Thanks for pointing out that I don’t *have* to compete against the others, it’s my own development that’s important.
Nice article, I think the point is to not settle for average work, but to settle for where you are at today without comparing yourself to others (and beating yourself up because you’re not where you think you should be). This is definitely a topic I can relate to. Do your very best, strive to better, but still be OK with where you are at today!
To further develop your point Lea, consider the fact that being exceptional, to possess tremendous abilities is indeed a gift. That gift is bestowed upon few, and everyone has their particular strengths.
What is important to rememember is that everyone simply cannot be the best. That is reserved for the few. We all however, can do our best and strive for higher levels of achievement and performance. We can raise the bar of our own expectations while demanding more of ourselves. You might call it the ability to see beyond one’s limitations. That is what personal development is all about.
This distinction provides a person with a slight-edge, one that encourages confidence in one’s competence. This slight-edge advantage is often the only perceivable difference between you and a competitor when pursuing an opportunity.
“Be where you are.” The most powerful sentence I’ve heard in my life. The article does not say to ‘settle’ for average, but, if you have average skills, average clients, and an average impact, and you are worried that it isn’t ‘enough’ or worried about what others are doing, you will do 2 things: you will make yourself miserable, and you will push yourself past where your skills are and end up producing below-average output which ends up being counter-productive. Suddenly your average impact turns into no impact at all.
Being where you are gives you perspective on what you need to learn to be somewhere different. If you are only focused on stellar achievement, it is easy to miss the foundational skills you need to develop along the way. I’d rather work with an average sub-contractor who knows where his/her skills and strengths are, than a superstar who doesn’t have a grasp of the basics. I’ve been burned too many times in the past.
“Be where you are.” Just don’t stay where you are forever, and certainly don’t settle. You are always learning, in the midst of change, and improving. All of that is a part of where you are at any time. You need to be able to compare yourself to others in order to get a better idea about where you are, just don’t let that comparison turn into jealousy or feelings of inadequacy.
Hurrah for ‘just being’. We need to find a very quiet and content place within ourselves everyday, especially with what we do as designers. This is SO important now. With global warming from the result of excessive consumerism we don’t need the latest, greatest, or likewise TO BE the latest or greatest. Think locally (within our own place of contentment), remove the ‘if only’ equation from our lives and the results will change the world!
Success means money, money pays the bills and if your not successful then you can’t pay the bills and then you get depressed and bankrupt.
Simple as that. If most freelancers live at home with their parents then all the power to them to settle for anything less and charge $50 for a logo.
While I understand the sentiment of not letting your goals ruin your life, I can’t say that I have ever felt the need to shoot for “ok” and not try and do the best possible job I can. Meaning, if I have to stay up late to go that extra mile, then I will if it means a better product. I can’t believe you would recommend being average to any creative person, I just can’t get on board with that. That’s insane. I think instead of being happy that you aren’t good at what you do, maybe you should take a class or read a book about it.
In creative fields there is always going to be a group of people that are awful at it. Are you in that group? or happily in that group? I’m all for introspection but when it leads to making excuses for your lack of skill, thats just another poor decision. And then to share it with the rest of the world…wow.
I’m also absolutely floored with the number of people agreeing with this. I work with people that don’t try to be any better at what they do and it impacts the work and everyone they work with in a negative way.
I agree that you shouldn’t always be comparing yourself to your peers, but you shouldn’t settle for “average” either. By that I mean that you should always be the best you can be.
If you’re an incredible musical talent that could easily make millions by going solo, then you’re doing yourself a disservice by staying as a backup singer.
In the same way, if you could improve your skills year by year and become a better writer/designer/etc, then you’d be silly to stay “average.”
If you have the potential to win a Pulitzer, I say go for it! While I agree that success does not equal happiness, I don’t see the problem in being happy while also always trying to improve – not feeling like a failure for not reaching goals…but continuously striving for them anyways.
This was a pretty exceptional post! Thanks for the insight!
I think the message is clear after a view comments. Strive for greatness and add that greatness to the rest of the world. But by no means allow it to consume you. If this is happening, the feeling of success may never come, even if your income and recognition proves it. I think people at this level have grown enough to know that they are good at what they do. These people also are smart enough to know that there will always be someone better. But when you are at the bottom it is a depressing situation. The way I battle this is to think of it in a different perspective. My work is a means to a happy life, not a depressing one. Work your hardest, but don’t let it get in the way of happiness.
The question is what determine your exceptional – your dna (touch of god, bla bla etc.) or things you really do to improve your skills?
I say that there are 1% of exceptional designers and 99% of average (roughly speaking).
Ah sorry for my absence everyone – internet issues here in South Africa!
Thank you all for the very thought-provoking comments and good discussion. To clarify my view…the article was not to encourage “settling”, nor being “mediocre”…although it’s all relative and I guess how you read this article depends upon what your definition of the word “average” is.
By it’s nature, it’s a comparative word which means that if you’re average, you need to define what you’re comparing yourself with…if it’s Pulitzer prize-winning writers, then being “average” might be ok. If it’s 5th graders, then perhaps it’s not – particularly if you’re hoping people will pay for your skill!
Ultimately if you’re doing your best and always striving to fulfill your potential then take time out to appreciate that – don’t look around and wonder why it’s still not “good enough”…your “average” could well be someone else’s “exceptional”!
I love this post, Lea, and I totally get what you’re saying. I especially related to the list at the end. Being in PR means having to be at peace with not being the center of attention. That works for me, because I prefer being behind the scenes. Anyone reading a book review/interview/etc. with one of my clients would never know that it happened because of me…but I do, and the client knows, and that’s what matters.
By the very nature of our jobs, freelancers are not traditional. So it would seem traditional measures of success wouldn’t be sole indicators for us. I feel like a huge success already because I broke out of the machine of working in a dimly lit, 3×3 grey cubicle for someone else, confined to the hours of 9 to 5. (Ok, that doesn’t descibe my most recent job, but still.)
Plus, if I need to go get my tire fixed in the middle of the day, I can. If I want to take my favorite aunt out for a two-hour lunch, I don’t have to get permission from someone else. If I want to make a healthy lunch for myself instead of grabbing something greasy on the go, I can.
Sure, I’ll have to work later in the evening to get caught up, but I don’t mind at all. I’m doing what I love, and on (mostly) my terms, so that, to me, is success.
Just what I’ve been needing to hear for a while. Thank you for your wise words.
A well-said article on a topic that is not PC. A book that (surprisingly) is very supportive of this is Patricia Madson’s “Improv wisdom.” Lowering our standards (in a productive way) is one concept. More here, FYI:
Matt’s Idea Blog: Great time management ideas from the world of improv wisdom
http://ideamatt.blogspot.com/2006/07/great-time-management-ideas-from-world.html
On perfectionism: The author spurs us to boldly lower our standards (!), a notion that I initially rebelled against, but which started making sense. Too often I worry about doing the best job in the world – really “nuking” a task – when I could get by with less. If this sounds like a cop out, don’t sweat; what she’s really telling us is to listen to ourselves. She notes that the idea of “thinking outside the box” really means seeing what is really obvious, but, up until then, unseen. In other words, trust yourself – the “easy” solution is most likely a great one!