What I’ve Learned About Freelancing From My 13-month Old Son

Photo by borrowed time | demi-brooke.

I was a decent freelancer last year. I passed the two-year full-time mark, I had clients on retainer and new clients still coming in. Business had doubled since the year before and signs were pointing to nice growth for year three as well. All the bills got paid every month and our savings had actually grown compared to when I was employed full-time.

I was a decent freelancer. At least I thought I was.

In October of last year my title and role changed a little from husband to husband/father. Uh oh. My emotions ran the gamut from elation to ‘who in the world would trust me with a kid?’ And everywhere in between. I can still remember the day that we were being discharged to go home wondering if I could find some little defect on him just so they’d let us stay a few more days to get our feet wet before he was under our care 100% of the time. Sad, I know. We did get him home and we were able to adjust. I haven’t dropped him or broken any bones, and according to my wife I’m a decent dad.

I’ve learned quite a few things over the last thirteen months. Disposable diapers have a front and a back, all fathers and mothers will use some form of baby talk even when they vowed it would never happen, and I wasn’t nearly as good of a freelancer as I thought I was.

Raising kids is hard. They’re time consuming, they’re demanding, and most of the time they set the schedule. I learned pretty quickly that my methods of work weren’t going to work with junior around. Fortunately I’m pretty good at adapting, and often learning from my mistakes.

Sleepless Nights

My wife would like to point out that if we totaled them up to compare, her number of sleepless nights would far outweigh my own. She’s probably right, but I had a fair share. We are fortunate that our son is as good as he is. Compared to some parents we know, he’s a saint. But he had his moments. Some nights it was due to hunger, some to teething pain, and some nights I think he was just a fan of infomercials and wanted to catch up on the latest Ronco gadgets.

In similar respects, as a freelancer you will have your nights. Some nights it’ll be your fault for project overload or procrastination, some nights it’ll be due to the fact that you sold something you didn’t know how to create, and some nights you’ll get so fired up over an idea or a project that you just can’t bring yourself to lie down. I’ve been there. And I am guessing I’ll be there again. It happens and in many cases it ends up being a good thing. Whether hitting a deadline, solving a problem, or spinning out that project that was just too important to let wait any longer, a night or two of minimal sleep is inevitable and usually beneficial.

Keeping a Good Schedule

I, being the good husband that I am, let my wife do most of the baby book reading about our son. She gained wisdom beyond her years on the ins and outs of raising a child. We’ve used about one-fifth of it. But one of the things that we have used, and has seemed to work well is getting the kid on a schedule and keeping him that way. It helps him to know that bedtime, for the most part, is the same time every day as well as feeding times, bath times, naptimes, and any other “times” that I may be forgetting. He gets used to it, we get used to it, and we usually know pretty quickly when he gets off his schedule.

As a freelancer, most of us aren’t necessarily held to a schedule. It’s one of the reasons I started freelancing in the first place. If I wanted to work from 7PM to 9AM, I could. But what I’ve learned from both my son and regular 9-5ers is the fact that having a decent schedule in place helps me be much more productive. And more efficient. I know when and where I need to be and what tasks I should be doing for the most part. Your schedule can be as flexible as you need and can be altered regularly but ‘freelancing by the seat of your pants’ is only going to get you to a certain level. Your clients expect some level of normalcy and your family will probably benefit as well.

Consistency

To go along with your schedule, keeping your routine consistent is a good idea. One of the things we did struggle with junior for a while was being able to get himself back to sleep if he woke up at night or when putting him down for a nap. We established some routines for him before naps/bedtime that included reading the same book, turning on his fan and turning out the lights among other things. Now he knows that once bath time starts its time to wind down and get ready for bed. No pacifier is needed and for the most part he fusses very little if any at all. But it took work. There were a couple of weeks that we had to suffer through him screaming for an hour or two in the middle of the night, which was torture. As bad as it was for both parties, we are both better for it. And because we were consistent enough to stick it out, it worked.

Being consistent with your freelancing work will help in a similar manner. Consistency in your product, your client response time, your attitude, and your daily routine will help. Trust me. I wasn’t. But I am striving to get that way. Figure out when you are most productive and set up your routine of things around that. I myself use the first thirty minutes to hour of my day filtering through my RSS feeds, emails, and to do lists. Since I am not a morning person, it helps me wake up and get my mind going – without coffee. I am usually at my creative best later in the evenings so I attempt to save any design work or writings for that time of day. My coding time gets shuffled in the afternoon and can be a bit tedious so it usually gets split up with some sort of power nap to regain focus. Being consistent and keeping to my schedule have been huge factors in me being more productive with the lesser amount of time I have now.

Keeping Connected

Being first-time parents one of the things we struggled with early on was wondering at what point we should get the kid out. We worried a lot about both sickness and safety and more than likely would have just kept him in for the better part of 6 months or more if it weren’t for friends and family. With their encouragement and example we decided we would be okay getting out with him and he would be okay as well. And it was okay for all. Staying connected with friends through the early weeks and months helped us to have a much smaller re-association time once he was able to get out more freely.

Likewise, in your freelancing, connections matter. Staying connected with a boss from a job I had in over eight years ago in college has afforded me three projects in the last six months. It works. And it doesn’t have to be a beating either. I’d spin by the shop when I was passing through town during the holidays and just poke my head in to say hello. Keeping that connection alive was not only easy but free as well. Using sites like LinkedIn or any of the thousands of other social media hub can pay off. Blogging and interacting on blogs you follow will do the same. Setting up or attending co-working environments in your community will put you in touch with others and just might lead to collaborations or more work.

The other benefit to staying connected? Feeling connected. By nature, freelancers are isolated. Don’t allow yourself to fall completely off the map just because you aren’t positioned in an office with three other people. If online connectivity isn’t your thing, find an association in your town to be a part of. Plug in somewhere, not only can you fill emotional needs you might be lacking, its possible to stumble across work as well. It works.

Staying on top of your Game

My son wasn’t happy for “tummy time.” But it was necessary to help him build muscles in his back and neck. Because of the time spent practicing, he no longer resembles a Dwight Schrute bobble-head doll.

Learning isn’t always the most fun thing to do. Why read a book or study a tutorial when you can watch grown men do choreographed dancing on treadmills on the Internet? Because you’ve got to stay ahead of the curve. Every day there’s someone out there who wants to get your clients. If your skills get diminished and your clients see that, there’s a good chance they’ll walk. If learning is boring to you, find creative ways to make it more entertaining. Watch Donnie Hoyle videos to improve your PS skills. Attend conferences both locally and out of your area to hear compelling presentations. Start a local group that meets monthly to discuss and teach each other new skills. Volunteer with your community to teach classes for local residents; not only will your teaching/speaking skills improve but also you’ll more than likely gain knowledge in your preparation and response to student questions. Don’t let new trends, ideas or the tools you use pass you by without attempting to at least stay current.

Although it was never planned or intended, raising a child has helped my life as a freelancer. I am better suited to meet the needs of my clients and more prepared to handle the many tasks that come along with both areas of my life. Please don’t misunderstand my thoughts, kids won’t guarantee you to be a better freelancer but maybe my lessons learned from having one will.

Christian Ross is a freelance designer/developer based in Grapevine, Texas. You can read his ramblings and/or follow him on twitter .