How to Cope with Relatives and Friends Who Dis Your Freelance Writing Life
Some lucky freelance writers have supportive spouses who’re rooting for them all the way. Their friends refer them clients. Their neighbors respect their privacy and leave them alone during work hours.
Unfortunately, the reality for many freelance writers is different.
Instead, those closest to us laugh at what we’re doing.
When Relatives Hate on Your Freelancing
Some of our parents are bitterly disappointed that we’ve chucked the corporate life. Seen from the viewpoint of people who may have spent 30 years at the same company, it seems like madness. They email us job listings and want to take us shopping for suits to wear to interviews.
Friends who’re still tethered to a corporate cubicle may be insanely jealous — and express this by making fun of what you’re doing.
They think we have no ambition, when in fact we may be earning more than our former day-job paycheck. They think we’re sleeping late and watching soaps when we may be booking 18-hour days writing on tight deadlines about complex topics for demanding clients.
Friends who’re still tethered to a corporate cubicle may be insanely jealous — and express this by making fun of what you’re doing. Neighbors see the fact that you’re at home now as their chance to get help moving furniture or talking out their personal problems.
To sum up, they don’t get it. And they’re driving you nuts.
What to Do About the Clueless People
Fortunately, you can become a successful freelance writer despite the efforts of those in your inner circle to tear down what you’re doing. Here’s my list of strategies for keeping your freelance writing on track despite unsupportive friends, relatives, and neighbors:
- Don’t get defensive. Don’t let uninformed comments about your freelance writing career get to you — or at least, if it does bug you, don’t let it show. If naysayers see you are confident about what you’re doing and their negative comments don’t rattle you, they may lay off.
- Keep it quiet. If relatives are not supportive, don’t ever discuss your freelance work with them. Don’t give them an opening to make nasty cracks about your lifestyle. If they ask how it’s going, say, “Great!” End of discussion. Provide no further details.
- Set boundaries. Will you sign for your neighbor’s packages? No. Accept phone calls from your mom in the middle of the day? Voicemail and caller ID were created for this situation. Don’t let pushy people intrude on your priorities.
- Be consistent. Refuse to have your precious work hours wasted by neighbors who don’t understand that you really do work during the day from that home office. Eventually, people will catch on that you are busy during the day. If you help out occasionally, you open the door to more workday interruptions.
- Find an office. My sister has four children, and does freelance work. She finally rented a spare room from a supportive neighbor for a modest fee. Now, she walks a couple blocks down the street with her laptop and ‘goes to work.’ Coworking spaces are booming in part because they solve this dilemma. If all else fails, this may be an option to explore to screen out the timewasters and get your work done.
- Get support. Starting a solo business — which is what freelance writers have — is not easy. It’s important to find a support network of other solopreneurs who know what you’re going through. Share your struggles and triumphs with them, not with unsympathetic relatives and friends.
What do you do about unsupportive friends and relatives? Leave a comment and share your story.
Photo credit: Some rights reserved by gunnar3000.
Leave a Comment
Nice article. This applies to other types of Freelancers too! I have friends and relatives who have accused me of “just sitting in front of a computer all the time.” I think it is funny though that when they need help in my area of expertise, they come to me! It is important to keep a stiff upper lip with naysayers. Most people that are negative towards Freelancers simply lack the vision — they can’t see something different from what is deemed “normal.” Basically, they are conditioned.
If you want respect, get a dog, not a spouse, kid or other relative. They don’t even want to read your site–waaay too busy…Familiarity breeds contempt–remember that one.
Great piece! This article is very helpful for all freelancers out there.
I lock my room for the moment.
This is great advice. I especially like setting boundaries. It worked for me when I was just starting out with freelancing, and it made my family realize that I’m not just some unemployed bum who does nothing but sit in front of the computer all day.
I can relate to this article. My parents think I’m wasting my talent because I’m not working in a corporate setting.
I love it when they ask me “when are you going to get a REAL job?”
EXACTLY. Like it’s not a real job building your own solo business, marketing yourself, doing client work, etc etc. But they don’t get it. So cool. I hang out with the people who do…
Gosh, I know a lot of blogging/freelancers (including myself) who face this issue on a daily basis. One of my friends says that her family thinks “self-employed” means “unemployed”. It’s rough when those around you don’t support your career decisions – even when you make more money (and are happier) than at your corporate job. This is awesome advice and something I feel every self-employed person could benefit from. Thanks for the encouragement!
This is an excellent summary that goes to the core of the issues. I appreciate this is promotion, but it’s community support – I run a group on Linked In helping freelancers working from home in the UK to connect, share and support each other. If you’re interested, search for us on LinkedIn or contact me directly. I don’t make any money from it.
Just a couple days ago, my brother was trying to talk me out of my entrepeneur project, saying I should concentrate in applying to big companies for “real work”.
That kind of comments, and unsupportive attitudes from family and friends who don’t believe in a decision you’ve been working hard for months keep eroding your mood. I’ve started to put some distance from the worse naysayers.
I’ve liked the article, and it sure can be applied to all kind of freelancers, not just writers. Great piece of advice.
Hi Carol,
I think there some people who don’t want to get it or pretend not to get it as a defense mechanism. The truth is that we could be watching soaps or doing any other thing if we wanted to. We have control over our own schedules, which is one of the best things about freelancing.
Then there is a group who thinks it is all too cool. Yes, I can sleep late. But I can and do work late too. I’m my own boss, so if I get sick, the whole “company” pauses work.
That’s why I like educating my well-meaning friends and family members slowly. I tell them the pros and the cons, and they mostly come around to accept, even enjoy, the difference of it.