How Kids Fit Into Your Freelance Life: Part 1
Rabia Mughal and her son, Mikail.
Many work from home freelancers (especially moms) have to juggle caring for their families as well as their clients. It’s not easy! The great myth that freelancers who work from home can save oodles on child care while running a successful business is just that—a myth.
Depending on how old your child or children are determines how much time they require you (or a caregiver) to spend with them. A newborn baby sleeps a lot, but they also need to be fed every few hours. Try working on your computer while breastfeeding. It’s impossible.
When children get older and go off too school, you have a chunk of time during the day that you can devote to work—but afternoons are busy with after school activities for your kids. Depending on when the kids go to bed, you have some time before you hit the hay—but what about your spouse? Your friends? There never seems to be enough time in the day.
I decided to find out how other freelancers with children make the most of their time. Rabia Mughal is a journalist who lives with her husband and 19-month-old son, Mikail, in San Francisco.
Before Mikail was born, Mughal was planning on keeping her full-time associate editor job after her maternity leave. And she did—until Mikail was 7-months-old. She then decided to work less hours from home as a contractor for the same company.
Q: How has your mentality changed since working from home and raising your kids?
I initially thought it was an all or nothing situation where one could either be a stay-at-home parent or a working parent, so it was great to find this perfect balance. Having said that, I also realized that in order to be a more hands-on parent it is almost always necessary to sacrifice certain ambitions and goals in life. I have made my peace with this fact by telling myself that I will get to all that later. Right now it’s wonderful to have the luxury of seeing my baby whenever I want and being there if he needs me for anything.
Q: What is your schedule like?
I work from a home office and treat my work day as if I were working in an actual office. I have a nanny who comes at 9:00 am. By that time I have already dressed Mikail and he is ready for the day. I work from nine to five, but take out the time to have lunch with him, play with him, and do little things like put him down for his nap. I find that since I have stopped worrying about leaving him for eight hours a day I can actually focus better on my work.
Q: What lessons have you learned along the way?
Initially when I had my baby I was very hard on myself. I wanted to give a 100% at work and to my baby and I never felt like I was doing enough. I have learned that working parents of young children have one of the hardest jobs in the world, and it is okay to slow down a little during this phase in life.
It is possible to stay focused on your career, but most people can forget about any Nobel Prize-winning achievements during this time. There is a little person who is running you ragged, but somehow, it is all worth it in the end.
Q: What advice would you give to a freelancer who struggles to work from home and raise their children?
Make a schedule and stick to it and that will make your day more efficient. If the kids wake up at a certain time, nap at a certain time, and have their activities at a certain time, it is much easier to plan the day. Make the kids respect your workspace and make them understand the difference between work time and play time.
Allocate time slots to the kids and to your work. Use your work time efficiently and don’t try to get work done during your time with the kids. It is important to keep these two things separate so you can focus. Finally, remember that you are trying to manage two very difficult jobs so give yourself a break and a pat on the back every now and then.
Next week we will be talking with freelance photographer Rachel Bell, and how having her three children was the reason she started her freelance career in the first place.
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It’s so important to recognize that being a freelancer, or working from home bur for a company, is still WORK. The very first time I attempted freelancing was due to circumstance, not choice, after being laid-off and unemployed. But it wasn’t really an honest attempt, as my wife and I also decided to cut expenses including child care, so I was taking care of my son during the day, and trying to get work done whenever I could, naps, while he played quietly… needless to say the freelancing business never took off. Being a stay-at-home mom/dad is honorable, and very rewarding, and it’s a full-time job all on its own. If you want to freelance full time, then you’ll have to invest in child care too. However, as the author notes, if you can swing it to where you can have a nanny come to you, instead of sending your child somewhere, you do get to enjoy some extra time with your child that most working parents don’t.
Eek! I wish it was this easy. I’m still transitioning to be a full free-lancer. Current I work my 40 hour a week day job, my full time photography business and raising my 9 month old. Here’s hoping by the time we’re ready for kid #2 I can just be a full time photographer.
I am a single mom that works from home. It’s HARD. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s not. I do, however, pay my mom to watch my daughter two days a week so I have two SOLID work days. Otherwise, I have to work with my four-year-old daughter running around, which is easier said than done!
Definitely work around your kids’ naptime and downtime, but also make sure you have plenty to keep your child entertained. I work a lot on my laptop on the couch in the living room while my daughter plays. Netflix has also been a Godsend. Plus, I don’t have the joy of handing off my daughter in the evening to a husband or anything like that, so it’s 24/7 mom and freelancer. I manage, I figure it out, but some days it is truly exhausting. But I know the benefits of working from home far outweigh working outside the home and paying up over half my income to child care, but it definitely wears on you sometimes! It’s possible though, as long as you are committed, and aren’t afraid to say “no” to other commitments that come up with friends and family if you don’t have your work done for the day because of the kid. Lots of self-discipline involved!!! 
Sara, I’m a single work-at-home mom too! I also did my business and went to school. I completely agree.
One thing I’ll tell the author, though. When my daughter was an infant, I totally worked on my computer while breastfeeding. I miss those days that I realize now were the easy ones.
Daycare/school and Netflix have helped a lot now that my daughter is older. She also has my old laptop, so she can “work” too, playing educational/fun computer games. I have to take breaks and let her out of the house, though, or she goes crazy.
I totally agree, it is very difficult. I can not even imagine how you do Theda and Sara, I applaud your tenacity!
Among the factors of success, I would cite the fact of being an insomniac, have a tendency to be hyperactive and somewhat unconscious
Here, we’re both at home, when one is working, the other parent stays with the children and vice versa. This is exhausting, but I would not trade my life with anyone (except maybe a millionaire :p)
Caroline Mayrand
I have to wonder how many of your target audience can identify with having a full time nanny. I certainly can’t.
So my advice is for those of us who have kids truly underfoot- IT GETS BETTER. Basically, I tell new freelancers to hang in there until school starts. The six hours a day turned me career around. Wait for it.
This article’s timing is perfect as I’ve been struggling lately with scaling down my work load, or laying low for another year until my toddler heads to preschool.
It’s hard to focus when the kiddo is banging on your office door, screaming in the other room, or won’t nap on the day you have a tight deadline (who’s with me here? Lol).
My biggest challenge have been client phone consults. Calls need to be done in the evening, or have to be pre-scheduled so that I have time to make arrangements. I’ve lost potential clients because they want a level of availability that I simply can’t offer because I’m at home with a small child.
I used to squeeze in work time on a laptop during snack time, etc., but my laptop was recently stolen. Now I have to work to save up enough to replace it, which means more long nights. There’s only so much I can do on the old iPad. Makes a girl wanna give up sometimes, but I love what I do & refuse to give in.
Allena, your comment is really reassuring since I wonder if I’m hurting my business by holding out until the school years. I think what I’ll do is focus on building up my blog, social media presence, & keeping my skills updated by continuing to study and do tutorials.
Anyway, I really appreciated this article.
Good luck to all the freelancing parents out there.
Melanie,
Great post
I have to agree with Allena above though, a full-time Nanny? Not here. I am trying to get my freelance business off the ground but with 2 1/2 year old twins running around it hasn’t been easy. I usually try my best to schedule early mornings. I do what I can during their quiet time and then work after they go to bed. I believe when they go to school it will make a difference, but that seems like forever away LOL! I am hoping to keep going at it in order to reach a successful pay level so I can stay home with them. It’s definitely not easy though and I HATE it when people pass off WAHM as easy….they have no idea.