Turning Clients Into Friends: Why It’s Worth Doing
Andy HowardI spent last week freelancing for a client of mine, but for a change, I didn’t work remotely. Nor did I work from the client’s office. Instead, I invited my client to spent the week working from my apartment near the beach in Sydney, Australia.
Despite the fact that my apartment is far from equipped as a home office, the week was a roaring success and concluded with a message from the client the following weekend saying how enjoyable the week was, and that it was “probably the most fun and best quality work” he’d been exposed to.
Like any professional relationship, relationships between freelancers and clients are built on trust. Even more trust exists between a freelancer and their friends. How much time do you spend working on those small, unpaid ‘favors’ for your friends? Probably more than you should. But they’re your friends, and you want to get it right. Imagine a friend who also paid you well — you treat every project like it’s your own and obsess over the smallest of details to make sure it’s perfect, then get paid what you deserve. It’s a best-case scenario for everyone.
Here’s how to become friends with your clients:
Make them feel at home
If your client is coming to work from your home, continue to treat it like your home, not an office. In my case, I don’t even use a proper desk, but rather a long bench and a couple of chairs which fit two people comfortably. Make it feel homely. Sterile office environments aren’t known for winning friends, but homes are. We spent the week working from my living room with surfboards leaning against the walls and magazines strewn across the coffee table. The place is still tidy and comfortable, but it’s not immaculate. The point is, don’t worry about cleaning up any more than if friends were coming over for dinner.
What you should be concerned with is hospitality. Provide plenty of snacks. Stock a range of tea and coffee. Prepare the lunches. Talk about food and where you both like to eat out. Crank up your iPod and offer the music choices to your client. Ask them to bring their music in tomorrow. Talk about bands. Talk about shows. Discuss the art hanging on your wall. Point out why one surfboard is better than the other. Discuss how you obtained the Peruvian trinket on the coffee table. Make it known that you found your 1960s coffee machine at a market in Vienna. It’s not about big-noting yourself. It’s about sharing who you are. Much the same as getting to know your friends, get to know your client and talk about what you both like. Connect.
Make it personal (in a good way)
Don’t believe the phrase ‘it’s nothing personal, just business’. Business is personal, and your work improves greatly when you make it personal. We’re beyond the age of believing that work is just a place you go. Work is something you do, and when and where you do it permeates many facets of a freelancer’s personal life. Embrace it. Turn your clients into friends. Your work improves. They get better value. More importantly, you both gain a relationship that goes beyond business.
Think about the days of working the corporate 9-5 slog. How much did you really know about the colleagues you saw more often than your family? In most cases, not a lot. In an age when everyone seems to work longer and socializing less, it’s nice to be able to use freelancing as a means of correcting the balance and bringing real relationships back into the workplace.
The concept of making business relationships personal isn’t exactly new. Techniques such as the ‘deep bump’ conference tactic, famously used by Keith Ferazzi to quickly create personal connections, are fairly commonplace. Of course, then there’s the business development guys we’ve all met who give books to business prospects upon meeting them to provide an excuse for a follow-up call. What we’re talking about doesn’t relate to any of these methods — rather than making a quick, superficial inroad into a client’s life, the goal is to genuinely get to know each other.
In my situation, it was fairly easy to make this happen. My client and I have been great friends for a long time, and this friendship came from working together. Inviting him over to work is like asking a friend over for a beer. However, there’s nothing stopping you from hosting any of your clients, including new ones. Just set a short meeting over coffee to discuss project particulars the week before you begin, and at the conclusion of the meeting you should have a vibe on whether or not you think will work out.
Adam
March 15th, 2008
While I’ve only ever had bad experiences from inviting clients to my place to work so far, if I had taken some of your advice I’m sure that would have been different. I have however encountered the reverse situation with the same desired effect: being invited to clients’ homes to work which has been great.
I have found that working or hanging out with other freelancers at each others’ places to be a great way of building both business and personal relationships.
Chris
March 15th, 2008
This articles comes at an interesting time. I had a “friend”/client leave today. Without getting into details, I have now seen both sides of the friend/client relationship. I have some clients who I grab beers with and others where its strictly business. IMHO, the key to either extreme, is that you need to be business first, friends second. Its a fine line, my friends
bejamshi
March 15th, 2008
There is a fine line with having a business relationship and friendship. I personally like to keep a business relationship. Bad experiences when you mix the two. My 2 cents
Tarique Sani
March 15th, 2008
This is almost a repeat of somethings said in a previous article here.. unfortunately the archive are not working…. I 100% agree with Bejamshi.
Mark
March 15th, 2008
Not fond of this idea at all. Business is business.
mj
March 15th, 2008
Yes business is business. Mixing the two is just asking for more troubles.
Megan, aka BizDevMarketing
March 15th, 2008
While I also take up issue with several points made here, it’s obviously working for this person. Andy clearly enjoys his work, his clients, has a balanced work & social life. And… he surfs. Not too shabby, so I’ll be milling these ideas over more than I would have liked to initially.
Andy Howard
March 15th, 2008
Some interesting feedback here, and I can completely understand the hesitation. It’s an entirely personal decision and comes down to how you like to do business. If it doesn’t work for you, don’t make it personal. Simple. But if you do like your clients to also be friends… I hope you enjoy the friendship as much as I do
Ali
March 15th, 2008
great post Andy, thanks
IMO it depends on the client, you can’t be friends with all of them obviously, but I also think that if you become friends with your client both parties win and gain a lot of advantages, its probably still better though when working with your friend client to keep things separate and to keep a line between talking about work or friendship. same as if you write him an email to keep your work related issues very clear and not mixed in anyway with your friendship even if he becomes a very close friend.
Anonymous
March 15th, 2008
So dangerous. Not into this idea at all. I have done this thing of allowing clients into my ‘other’ life, and I believe it is inviting trouble. Clients is clients, and though you can certainly have very friendly relations, sharing and comparing life experiences, letting them in to your personal life is quite another matter. Guys, don’t go there.
Angela
March 15th, 2008
I think this is a case-to-case basis. I can’t imagine being “friends” with some of my clients, and I’ve always felt awkward when they treat me differently. However, with certain people (clients), this approach works, as long as between both parties there’s this understanding of when to be professional and when to be “friends”.
I’ve experienced the sort of business relationship camaraderie being talked about in this article a few times, and I have to say it’s one of the most enjoyable parts of working, whether it’s a 9-5 job or a freelance gig. But yes, it’s a case to case basis, and usually this sort of relationship just builds itself on its own — it can’t be forced, or even actively encouraged. See where the opportunity and prospect is, and make little steps towards it, but don’t rush.
Paul Lagasse
March 15th, 2008
I agree with the arguments in favor of caution. The problem works the other way too, when clients let friendships cloud their decision-making. They are more likely to accept sub-par work and tolerate excuses from a friend than a business colleague, which can not only derail a project but also cause resentment among the “non-friends” on the team who have to pick up the slack.
This doesn’t mean you have to be distant and cold. Being friendly and courteous to a client, asking about their kids, swapping stories about vacations, etc. are all part of being a professional. But because they are paying you, the nature of the relationship is — and has to be — fundamentally different from a friendship.
Denver Web Design
March 15th, 2008
If you really want to step your business up a notch then it’s good advice to join your local Chambers of Commerce and networking groups. I tend to become friends with people long before they become actual clients. This makes the selling process a whole lot easier. Some of my best business relationships are people who are both clients and friends, and theyre always throwing us leads.
Klaus Wiedemann
March 15th, 2008
I consider your proposal quite a dangerous approach. It might depend a little bit on the industry you are working in, but I assume that even in a more creative industry such as advertising, doing business this way is just calling for trouble - for both sides.
Your client might feel unconfortable because he gets too personally involved. In case he just wants a “Business Relationship”, friendship might feel him obliged to give a better rates or approve mediocre work. Or, even worse, the boss of your client comes to that conclusion. How do you best tell a contractor that his contract is terminated because his work sucks if he’s your friend?
Some thing for the contractor: how do you argue to raise your hourly rate, how do you push forward decisions to be made be your client or tell him the ugly truth about his website, if he’s the one who made it?
It’s always good to have a friendly and trustful relationship with clients, but I prefer to keep things separated. If a client becomes your friend, terminate the contract and be just friends.
Don’t make friends to accelerate your business. Because you in essence betray them. Your interest would not be to become a friend but to win a customer…
kris
March 15th, 2008
If you become friends with your client its harder to say no to them when you have better paying opportunities and can’t take their project.
Robert John
March 15th, 2008
I myself like to think it that way. Treating your clients as your friend will definitely make your work more pleasing and at the same time having clients thing of you in the same way.
Darren
March 16th, 2008
In a perfect world, you would get paid what you deserve when working for your friends (and after obsessing over all the details). But honestly, you generally don’t have the heart to charge them what you would charge to a normal business client. Know what I mean?
Jessica Satterfield
March 16th, 2008
I don’t agree with the comment to “terminate the contract and be just friends” if it seems like you and a client are becoming friends. If you are both professional and understand the work, it shouldn’t be a problem to give constructive criticism or raise your rates, when appropriate. I have plenty of clients who I also consider my friends, and they know that “business is business” … but we also feel comfortable enough with each other that we have become great friends.
I think it’s happened so naturally for me with lots of my clients that it’s hard for me to “get” this other argument. However, it doesn’t work for all clients, and you just have to intuitively figure out who’s open for this and who isn’t. If it’s forced, it’s not going to work. But if it happens naturally, let it. Just be sure everyone understands that business decisions are separate from the friendship.
Jessica Satterfield
http://www.TheSatterfieldAgency.com
AJC @ 7million7years
March 16th, 2008
I turned a friend into a client and created a multi-million dollar business empire out of it … the joke is, we didn’t even realize that we were friends [my wife was the connection] until AFTER the deal was signed. Staying friends and cultivating more friends across the client organization was absolutely key to my (business) success. Great post and on the button … thanks!
Amy
March 17th, 2008
I’ve turned friends (more like chummy acquaintances) into paying clients, but rarely the other way around. The clients-to-friends thing has worked for me exactly twice, and it wasn’t an effort — more like a natural happening. My hat’s off to anyone who can do this and make it work. Great article Andy.
Martha Retallick
March 17th, 2008
While I’m all in favor of maintaining friendly relationships with my clients, I’m more than a little hesitant to have these relationships become friendships. Why? Because if something goes wrong in the business relationship, I’ve lost a friend as well.
Instead, I like to have friends and friendships for after-hours activities. Business relationships, such as those between me and the clientele, are for work hours.
Gauatm Chaudhury
March 17th, 2008
I am a HR professional & intersted to join in assignmnets
Brandon
March 17th, 2008
I think it takes two. It takes a freelancer who understands how to handle friends as clients and a client who understands that a friendship doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll be treated with a V.I.P. status over any other client.
Moriz
March 17th, 2008
I think the main challenge is getting a house by the beach. I think if I had a house by the beach I’d be too busy getting people out of it !!
Vicki
March 18th, 2008
Ever heard of Pandora and her box (okay that didn’t sound right)? And the saying don’t work for family/friends? Heed the warnings!
Human beings are greedy. Normal friends take advantage of friendships. I can’t imagine the client/friend conversion. How would one manage projects if a few clients become fast friends? They would demand a lot of attention and concessions (I nearly spelt concussions because that’s pretty much what it would feel like) and there goes the bottom dollar.
Sure, I’d have drinks and chit chat with my clients. I’d listen to their problems and give advice. But business is business and a line needs to be drawn.
Victor
May 20th, 2008
no thanks.