Handling Clients Who Just Aren’t That Into You
Photo credit: baileyraeweaver/Flickr
Last month’s post, Are You Dating Your Client?, covered the stages of commitment from flirting to marriage. But the road to long-term freelance bliss is paved with clients who aren’t quite right, because, to paraphrase Greg Behrendt and his famous dating book, “they’re just not that into you.”
Maybe their boss is on their back about cutting costs. Or perhaps they’re not really sure what they need. Either way, it’s not you, it’s them. And if you don’t carefully manage him or break up with Mr. Wrong, then there’s a real possibility that you’ll end up with a broken heart. Or at least, shattered confidence and the sick feeling that you’ve just wasted your time.
Here’s our field guide to identifying and coping with these types of clients:
The Penny Pincher
If I were on a date and a guy busted out a coupon, well, be still, my bargain-loving heart! But I know I’m in the minority. Just as many women prefer men who wine and dine them a bit without stressing about the bill or trying to cut corners, many freelancers (myself included) prefer to work with clients who aren’t always trying to get more work for less money. You can spot the Penny Pincher when he uses phrases like, “our last freelancer charged half as much” or “are you sure you can’t do it just this once?”
You get what you pay for, as they say, so with this brand of client, it helps to remind them of the value you’ll bring to the project. If they fail to recognize and respect that value, continually trying to negotiate a rock-bottom price or squeeze a few freebies out of you, then it may be time to part ways. Someone suggested using this statement: “I understand if professional freelance rates aren’t in your budget now, but please let me know if that changes.”
The Big Talker
Like the guy who tries to woo you with by bragging about his fancy degree, his high-powered job, or swanky bachelor pad (which, coincidentally, you have never seen), big-talking clients feed you stories about their incredible business opportunity or their startup website that is going to make you a millionaire.
They may be trying to manipulate you, or maybe they truly buy into the hype they’re feeding you. Either way, if something sets off your BS meter, then be wary. Make it clear that you’re not willing to work for stock options or a percentage of future revenue (unless for some reason, you are willing). In the words of Jerry Maguire, “show me the money.” And get it in writing.
The Control Freak
Controlling boyfriends might try to choose your clothes, your entrée at a restaurant, even your friends. Controlling clients want to know why you took a whole two hours to return their phone or why you chose Helvetica instead of Arial font. Oftentimes they treat you as if you were an indentured servant employee, rather than a freelancer who’s working with several other clients. Repeated phone calls and emails are often a tell tale sign that you’ve met a Control Freak.
Sometimes you can gently remind them that while they certainly know their business inside and out, you know design or marketing or XML, and that’s why they hired you. If you feel comfortably using humor rather than a a more direct, cards-on-the-table approach, that can help diffuse the situation. You can also let them when you’re available for phone calls or email or screen their calls and emails the rest of the time. But hey, if the money’s good enough, maybe you won’t care. That’s why some freelancers add a PITA fee when dealing with difficult clients (they’ll build this into their project fee, rather than listing it on the invoice!).
The Disappearing Act
One day he’s showering you with praise, the next he’s giving you the cold shoulder. Clients (and boyfriends) have lots of reasons for going MIA, but Murphy’s Law of Freelancing states that they will do so at the least opportune moment for you, like when you’re on deadline and a crucial question pops up. Then they’ll inexplicably emerge months later as if nothing has happened.
The occasional disappearing act may be something you can learn to live with if you’re otherwise happy. But if it’s seriously jeopardizing the relationship, then you have to let the client know that in order to meet their needs, you’ll need some help from them. You could also schedule check-in points where you know you’ll be able to reach them with questions. If you sense that your contact is over-burdened, you might gently inquire if there’s a better way to reach them (maybe they’re overwhelmed with email but don’t mind a short phone call) or a colleague who might make a more suitable point of contact, since they’re so busy.
The Commitmentphobe
You’ve talked on the phone at length, submitted a custom quote, even met with him for a consultation, but the Commitmentphobe still won’t take the next logical step and commit to a relationship with you. He may resemble the Disappearing Act or the Control Freak with his mixed signals or his insistance on one more meeting to make sure everything is perfect before you “go all the way.”
Sadly, some Commitmentphobes have no intention of settling down, even with a nice freelancer like you. See, they’ve figured out that they can pump you for free information, so why buy the milk if they already know they can get it for free? (Wow – that was a lot of relationship metaphors in one paragraph!). If you find yourself in that situation, then you need to set boundaries. Limit free consultations to 30 minutes, then let them know that you’re happy to keep talking and you’ll invoice them for any additional time.
Have you met any of these “types”? Or are there others I’ve missed? Do tell?
Photo credit: Some rights reserved by baileyraeweaver
i seriously have one of everyone of those clients you listed minus the control freak! i dont think there is a better description of these out there haha, great post!
Love this, Susan–you are such a witty, creative writer and we need more of that in the world!
Interesting article. Really got the attention of my young male brain!
Sadly, I’ve experienced all these client behaviors. The disappearing act never affected me much. I always keep multiple clients, when ones not in the mood I hit up lucky client #2 or #3…variety is the spice of life
I’ve got similar experience
This is a great summary of the clients we all encounter and how to cope with them!
Great article! Just like Michael, I’ve experienced nearly every one of those clients with my biggest headache being the control freak who took up so much of my time that I had to minimize my responses to emails and limit the number of times I answered her phone calls. In the end, I sadly (or not so sadly) lost her as a client but learned that talking to her about it probably would have been better than suddenly changing my behavior.
Awesome article made me giggle
Ha! In one of my niches (which is heavily dominated by women), there have been a SLEW (a slew, I tell you) of Big Talkers (all men) lately. It’s almost entertaining to watch them sweep in, make a lot of noise, and sweep out without much to show for it.
Terrific post. And, all too true.
Back in the 1990s, I had the misfortune of dealing with a commitment-phobe. After several weeks of phone calls, e-mails, and meetings that went nowhere, I was fed up enough to an online search on his last name.
Turned out that he’d been convicted of defrauding the elderly while running his previous business. And he’d just gotten out of jail.
Believe me, I ended that relationship in a hurry.
WOW!! Dead on. I have had every one of these in the past month. I pass on the Penny Pincher, the Big Talker, and Commitmentphobe. I don’t mind the Disappearing Act (working with one right now) as long as they understand that the reason I missed their deadline was because they were missing. The Control Freak is the worse for me (probably because I’m a bit of a control freak), and it’s also one of my long term contracts. Every few months I have to push back when he questions every little technical thing I do, even though he’s not technical at all. He gets it, but then slowly turns into the control freak again.
It’s funny because it’s true – we’ve all experienced these horrible clients at some point in our careers. Although I’ve never had a horror story like Martha’s!
“I understand if professional freelance rates aren’t in your budget now, but please let me know if that changes.” <— I will SO be using this line in the future.
Lordy lord, I've done business with the Penny Pincher, The Big Talker, AND the Control Freak. Luckily, I'm more discerning these days, but I can still sometimes be blind-sided by a control freak type.
What about the sneak who tries to slip you more work than you agreed to? What would we call that one?
The sneak–I had one of those! Horrible disaster, because I didn’t see it coming and made the stupid assumption that I would be paid for the additional work. I got screwed out of $400 and had to drop the project.
Great article! Perfect mix of useful information and humor!
What a fabulous post, Susan. I’ve met all of these types and I must say, where earlier in my career I’d crawl under the covers and cry, now I try to remind myself “It’s THEM, not ME,” and move on. It’s not always easy and takes a lot of practice, but really, what’s a freelancer to do??
I’ve never thought about putting them into categories like this before, but there certainly are types, aren’t there?
I’ve handled the Penny Pincher lots of times and I can’t stress enough how much of a waste of time these clients were. I’ve also encountered the Control Freak and clients who are fond of the Disappearing Act before and the relationships we had as client-freelancer inevitably didn’t last long.
Well this was a trip down memory lane. I think I’ve had all of these clients at one time or another!
Love this! It makes me think that all human relationships — romantic or not — are essentially the same.
Great post, Susan. Hilarious and spot-on. Haven’t come across some of these types of clients, but I’ll now know them when I see them!
“See, they’ve figured out that they can pump you for free information, so why buy the milk if they already know they can get it for free?”
I thought it was “buy the cow?” Either way, I have definitely suffered with several of these this year. Everybody wants the knowledge, and hey, how about I buy you lunch . . .
This post made me feel better about my week.
I don’t think I’ve ever nodded quite so much while reading a single post. I’ve been around long enough to agree with the way you recommend dealing with them. Working on a commitmentphobe right now…
I have met these kind of clients over and over as an entrepreneur, and it can be hard to manage them at first.
All I can say is that your suggestions make a lot of sense, and it’s really a matter of practice.
Thankfully, not all clients fall in these types, and most are just awesome to work with/for.
The commitmentphobe and the disappearing act are two I’ve dealt with recently. Control freaks I’ve also had, but typically in more formal work relationships, where the individual is my “boss.” …Lesson learned; imagine dealing with that behavior every day!
Commitmentphobes are now the biggest issue on my radar. I don’t limit my consultation time in minutes, but I do require a good-faith deposit to do any work. I recently dealt with a couple – a 4 hour lunch, a 2 hour dinner, a carefully-crafted proposal, and then they disappeared. They wanted me to wireframe an entire website for free. We must learn to respect our own boundaries and get the hell out of town after the first hour of BS.
Not only have I met some of these types, some folks exhibit more than one of these charming qualities. Know what I mean?
This was a fun post about a not-fun subject! It always comes back to trusting your heart/gut/brain, and not taking things personally.
this is hilarious– and really rings true. Thank you for the article!
This is hilarious and so true; I really appreciate the advice! About 40% of my clients fall into one of these categories and it’s nice to have a strategy for dealing with them. Also nice to know I’m not alone!
Yes – I think I’ve met and worked with every one of these types of clients. And I really appreciate this post, because freelance writers often feel like we’re out here in the void working alone, so it’s always cheering to know other people are going through the same things. The metaphor between clients and dating is priceless and so true.
Been there, done that. I’ve dealt with several of those customers before and it was no picnic. Thanks for the article!
I have a question, freelancer can do more bidding with all the stites ? if doing and getting more projects how can we deliver all the projects on time. because we are freelancer right, then we need a team for that to execute.
What a great humorous look at different types of clients that make you pull your hair out! The penny pincher and control freak really make me shudder!
Haha, easily one of the most entertaining articles I’ve read this month.
Susan is there room for maybe one more? How about the “Wish you were HERe” client? Is there a term for the client who wants to push you into other directions than you’re comfortable with? Like when they want to deal with as few contractors as possible & want to assign the task to you. I’m sure they mean well, & objectively it would mean more money in my pocket. But I don’t want to half-ass a job I’m not completely prepared to dissect (at least at this stage in my career). Think of it like a logo designer being asked to write/edit blog content for his client’s website.
Susan,
This was one of the most entertaining AND painfully close-to-home blog articles I’ve read in a long time. Great list, and terrific advice about how to handle those difficult clients that make our work so colorful!
It’s heartening to see so many posts by so many people who share these experiences. Sometimes I *have* felt like there was something wrong with me. Especially when the client keeps comparing you to the previous freelancer, who was so nice, and gave them so much for free… The funny thing is, I would *never* take that from a date. I guess I learned about dating long before I learned about freelancing. But thanks to this article I can see that all the manipulation techniques and the personality issues are exactly the same. Wow.
And yes, I have had them all. And I have also had the “sneak,” who sneaks in more work, and the bait and switch client, who tries to get you to do types of work you didn’t sign up for (and in my case, then insists they should not have to pay me to learn whatever the new skill is–in other words, do it, and do it for free). And I have also had the morph/combo client, who is many of these things (I call that one the “crazy maker”). And I have also had the client who thinks she is smarter than me, and pays me to sit there and argue with me about every single thing I am doing for her. Maybe that’s a control freak…
All that said, I have also had, and still have some amazingly awesome clients, for whom, upon reflection on these others, I am so very thankful.
Great article!
As for the penny pincher, I found a great sentence in another article on this site: ‘I understand if professional freelance rates aren’t in your budget now, but please let me know if that changes.’ http://freelanceswitch.com/clients/rfp-process/
I’ve only met the control freak so far. My productivity dropped radically and my income dropped for two months to 30% of what I earn normally. Had to send this client a notice of termination and I’ve also started to stick more precisely to the rules I wrote in the contract.