The Low-Tech Client: I’ve had a client ask me to PRINT OUT a website I designed for them. Does that count?

The Uninterested Client: These clients have made me become a better copywriter, web developer (originally I was just a GRAPHIC designer), and print broker. Not sure if that’s a good thing.

The Hands-On Client: One such client was also a freelance designer (read: really he was just a musician, but in his mind owning a copy of Photoshop qualified him as a designer). He was very nitpicky and always asked me to change fonts, colors, or rearrange entire compositions. Of course, I’d always get sent examples of how he would do it. He was so hands-on, in fact, that even when he acted as my agent for clients in his area, he would tell me to change my designs before even showing anything those clients. Needless to say, I don’t work with this person anymore.

The Paranoid Client: I was designing a web app that made heavy use of their huge database, so this client was worried about the privacy and security of the system’s users. Even after adding this to the written agreement, the client would still ask “but there’s STILL a chance somebody could go in and see that information, right?” This paranoia led to my business partner getting some work to build an in-house web server running from their office.

The Appreciative Client: These clients are awesome, but they lead me to question whether my work is really that good or if they just have really low standards

The Get-A-Good-Deal Client: I worked out an agreement with one client to design a logo. Everything was agreed upon, including the fee. By the way, this was a verbal agreement over the phone. When it came time to collect, the client was only willing to pay slightly less, claiming that I had said a different (read: lower) price over the phone. I don’t make mistakes like that, nor would I forget something like that. Instead of calling him a liar and losing out on all of that money, I took a small pay cut. I really look at this as my own fault as it should have been on paper. Kudos to him for backing me into a corner. Nicely played.

The I’ll-Know-It-When-I-See-It Client: I was designing a logo for a cell phone retail store but the client just wasn’t happy with anything I delivered. He kept asking me for draft after draft and, being eager to have ANY work, I supplied draft after draft. This client actually used the words “I’ll know it when I see it,” to justify the constant revisions. No logo was ever chosen and the client went elsewhere for his logo. The only bright side was that I made a profit brokering the printing of the collateral with this new logo on it.

The Always-Urgent Client: There was client with whom every project was delivered in less than 24 hours. Sometimes this client would call me well after midnight expecting it the next morning. One such project was hand-delivered at 5 in the morning at the client’s house (I still hadn’t slept since I had been working all night on the project). He moved far away from me a few weeks after that

The Decision-By-Committee Client: One thing I hate more than anything is when clients involve their spouses in the design process. It doesn’t matter how well you think you did, if their spouse doesn’t like it, you’ve got to start over. On one website design project, a client even handed the phone over to his wife to chew me out for not giving him more credit on the website (it was for a record label).

The Doormat Client: These can be dangerous and cause you to develop some terrible habits. The guilt from slacking off on these clients has made me treat them the best as they’re probably my most loyal.

The Budget Client: A client, and his business manager, asked me to consider changing our payment terms from ‘due immediately upon completion’ to ‘net 30′. This seemed reasonable, so I agreed. Unfortunately, the tab grew and grew, which leads me to…

The You-Should-Be-So-Lucky Client: After a VERY long time, I politely asked for payment on the balance in full. At first they were also polite. But after a more assertive second request, they practically begged me to sue them in as many words. They felt I was being unreasonable because they had brought me so many new clients. Thing is, those clients didn’t owe me money. By the way, this was a music industry client. After some back and forth I got sick of it and informed them I didn’t care about the balance anymore. I was too disgusted to even deal with them. This decision was made because we only had a verbal agreement. And even though my records of emails, phone calls, and projects were meticulous, none of the correspondence mentioned a promise of payment. This was December of last year. I ‘fired’ them that December and have since spent all of 2008 doing no freelance work at all. Last I heard of these guys, their business was doing terribly and they haven’t released any music this year. Karma is a bitch.

12 Breeds of Client and How to Work with Them…